NB Willawaw - The Revelations of a Narrowboater

Smarten Up

2011-09-06T15:28:00.007+01:00

After having fitted lots of other peoples boats, I finally succumbed and fitted my own Smartgauge.

Chris Gibson a.k.a Gibbo who created the unit has now sold his business to the Merlin Equipment business in Dorset and is retained as their senior R&D man.

This is why the Smartgauge unit now bears the Merlin name.

The main problem with batteries on boats is that most boaters hugely depend on them but don't really understand them.

What Chris has done is to break the mystique down to the essentials that most want to know.

How much power do I have in my battery bank ??

It gives a simple % reading - in the above photo, I have my bank 99% charged or 1% discharged.

I've heard it described as a fuel gauge for batteries.

We have a Mastervolt Amp-Counter for the domestic bank and a Victron one for the starter battery. I don't have a lot of faith in either and tend to monitor the voltage instead.

I have more faith in the Smartgauge which calculates the charge left in an adaptive way using a very accurate voltage reading directly from the battery terminals.

For £150 it does what I need.

It also acts as a display for the Merlin Smartbank system and is able to monitor the voltage of the start battery (already doing that), but an accurate % reading that tracks the batteries as they get older is enough for me.

The unit has changed very little over the years it's been available, but it now seems now that the membrane buttons aren't very positive in their operation - you have to push them quite firmly and don't always seem to get a connection first time. Might be an attempt to get the build costs down or hold them down ??

One of my gripes has always been that it has to be flush/panel mounted and there is no backbox option so it can be bulkhead mounted.

The word on the cut is that there is a Smartgauge 2 in the wings which will do lots more including monitor the charge/discharge current - rumoured to be a bit more expensive though !!

Mark and the Magic Torch

2011-05-25T08:40:00.004+01:00

When our boat was built, we had a rechargeable torch mounted on the bulkhead just as you come down the aft steps.

It was similar to the aircraft emergency ones you see by the emergency exits on airliners.

Unfortunately, it has just given up the ghost after 8 years of valiant service.

Looking for a replacement, I was shocked at how expensive they are. The cheapest I could find was about £60 !!! :-0

It's not rocket science, but I've "devised" a small torch which sits in a charger on the bulkhead and runs from the boats 12V battery supply.

You just come into the boat, lift the torch out of its holster and use it to find all the switches, water cocks and so on, as you move throughout the boat.

When you've finished, you just put it back in the charger and it will be charged, ready for the next time.

It's also brilliant for the dark walk back to the boat from the pub - small enough to slip in the pocket (nobody wants a giant lantern on the table in front of them whilst supping a pint).

One charge lasts about 1-1/2 to 2 hours.

I've connected it directly back to the domestic bank battery isolator switch, so its powered (charging) all the time (and protected by a small in-line fuse).

An added bonus is that it also fits in the cigar lighter on the car, so if I'm in the car it goes with me there and when I'm living on the boat, it goes on there with me.

The very neat feature I like is that when the torch is on charge, it has a little red light in the lens, which makes it easy to find when you're stumbling around half awake, at middle of the night o'clock, trying to work out whats thumping on the roof !!! - you can just see the red light in the photo above.

If anybody's interested, I bought two - am using one and have put the other on Ebay.

If it doesn't sell, some relative will get it as a present.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=180672061253

Float Switches Don't Float My Boat

2011-05-22T11:04:00.004+01:00

I've never been greatly impressed with the float switches that are used in conjunction with bilge pumps to give automatic operation.

Many older models use Mercury tilt switches inside them. These are usually a small tube with electrical contacts at one end of the tube. When the float tilts, the mercury collects at one end of the tube and creates a conductive path to complete the circuit.

Mechanically activated float switches, which are often advertised as Mercury-free, use a steel ball in an enclosed run. When the float switch is tilted by the water level rising, the ball runs to one end and operates a lever, which in turn activates a micro-switch and makes the electrical connection to switch your bilge pump on.

Anything mechanical will eventually give problems.

I am now using a solid state switch for my bilge pump switching and bilge alarm applications.

These operate on electrical capacitance and are VERY reliable. So reliable, they come with a 5-year warranty. An added advantage of these is that they are very small, don't actually float up and suffer from unwanted buoyancy problems (never a good feature on a water levels switch) and they don't get triggered by an oil leak (which would result in pumping oil into the cut).

I've used these for a while now and am very impressed with them.

So much so, that I've started using them on my Intelligent Bilge Alarm design (my Mk3 version).

I also sell my surplus ones (and the bilge alarm) on my family Ebay site.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=180669398184&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT

Ebay Gum

2011-05-19T07:44:00.005+01:00

Ebay, Gumtree, it's a different world.

Regular readers of this blog will know that I often produce interesting gadgets of a boaty persuasion.

You may remember my earlier post "Talking Bilge" about the Bilge Alarm shown above.

http://nbwillawaw.blogspot.com/2010/11/talking-bilge.html

My workshop is getting rather crammed with pieces of boaty electrical equipment and finished projects, so in a tidying process, I've decided to pass them to my family who are keen Ebayers and have started an Ebay seller called Phoenix Marine as an outlet for my excesses.

Some of the equipment I have is still new in the original packing (I have a habit of buying more items than I need in case I need spares, etc) and some is what I suppose would be considered shop soiled in that they have been on my bench.

Anyway, one of the rules of Ebay is that it has to be clearly defined what is new and what is not - quite right too.

Although, they don't seem to have an intermediate condition for items that are new but have been gathering dust on my bench (classified by them as "used" I'm afraid).

I also have some very interesting items like clamp on, battery powered, LED navigation lights for when you take a narrowboat on a river and need lights just for a few hours a year (i.e. not worth the expense and trouble of running wires and fitting permanent ones).

Anyway, there might be a few interesting things coming in the pipeline..

http://myworld.ebay.co.uk/phoenixmarineelectronics

The Alternative Little Venice

2011-05-10T22:45:00.006+01:00

I've seen lots of blogs just recently, showing the same boaty pictures of the 2011 IWA Cavalcade at Little Venice.

To me, Little Venice is more than a line of massed reproduction working boats, flying bunting, with their owners Bolinder-waving to each other.

LV is a sub-culture all of its own, all year round.

It's an upmarket boating community - I guess it has to be with mooring fees being what they are, there.

It's one of the few moorings that I know, where all the boaters seem to have cut-glass accents.

In my eyes, these three pics portray the real spirit of Little Venice..

The Last Blog

2011-04-06T15:47:00.008+01:00

Looking at the blogroll which shows the last post made by each blogger (on the lower, left hand side of this page), some haven't blogged for 2 years.

Whilst I'm sure that many just got bored or what seemed like a good idea at the time, lost its shine (the new fad became something of a fag), some have probably sold up.

Since my involvement in the netosphere aspect of canal boating (about 6 years), I've seen quite a few boaters come and go.

This is made quite noticeable by blogs, where newbie boaters spring up with their new blogs, full of enthusiasm, often looking for escapism and a new life on the canals of merry England.

At the other end of the "long cruise", boaters often have to give up due to ill health, financial problems or disillusionment with the way the waterways are evolving.

Inspired by the epitaph of comedian Spike Milligan, whose gravestone says in Gaelic "I told you I wasn't well", when I'm ready to hang up my windlass, I might be tempted to make one last blog:

"taking on water, am sinking slo"

The Biggest Big Top

2011-04-06T09:14:00.006+01:00

We went to a Westlife concert recently at the O2 arena on the Greenwich peninsula in London.

It was our first time at O2 and we were quite impressed by the facility.

It's got to be the biggest "big-top" I've ever seen.

Not only is it absolutely massive, but its also a dream to reach and park at and there are lots of restaurants inside to keep you entertained, pre-show.

If anything, the facility was a little underused, as there are still large open spaces inside the tent and I'm sure it has untapped potential for the future.

I'm so glad they didn't demolish it after the Millenium celebrations.

P.S Sorry about the photo quality - I had my pocket camera with me and the light wasn't the best.

Sunk Without Trace

2011-04-04T08:18:00.007+01:00

You may recall that we visited the National Waterways Museum at Ellesmere Port a while ago. I was very impressed by the museum and facility, but surprised at how many wrecks were lying around on the bottom.
Now I know that with wooden boats, this is the best place for them if you don't have the money to repair them and return them to their former glory. However, I was slightly concerned that visiting boats were navigating around the various basins of the museum and the wrecks weren't marked.
To a mariner like myself, it would seem sensible and quite inexpensive to secure marker buoys to each end of the wrecks, so that boats who are quite low in the water themselves would see them.
A recent comment on the blog of NB Caxton suddenly brought my attention to this here:

http://narrowboatcaxton.blogspot.com/2011/04/ellesmere-port.html

Our Destiny in Lights

2011-03-30T10:34:00.027+01:00

A narrowboater was lambasted for crossing the Thames to the opposite side of the river and passing through the main working arch of the Blackfriars Rail Bridge, nearly running into a passenger vessel coming the other way.

The bridge has five arches; three were closed, one was open with lights and the remaining one was unmarked.

The boat apparently crossed over to the wrong side of the river and passed through the lit one. Lights are the key on the Thames Bridges and your destiny can be easily reshaped if you fail to understand or obey them.

http://www.pla.co.uk/News/index.cfm/fla ... /site/News

The upshot of this is that the PLA maintains that when there are “no lights or signs showing” this indicates “an arch available for navigation by vessels when height of tide, draft, air draft and good seamanship permit”.

Okay, in smartass hindsight, he should have known this and he should have radioed VTS to request permission to cross the river, but it’s easy to be clever after the event.

I have just written a post on the canal forum www.justcanals.com/forum on this subject and included a complete set of photographs covering the pilotage of the tideway from Tower Bridge to Lambeth Bridge.

As you can see below, quite large vessels use the side spans sometimes.

In fact, the PLA recommend that recreational vessels use the side spans of Tower Bridge. Photo above - The lights on the centre arch are flashing in isophase, indicating a large vessel approaching. You will notice that the trip boat has noticed and is taking the side span, to keep out of the way. The RNLI station pier is now located underneath No.1 arch of Waterloo Bridge. Strangely, it is still known as Tower Pier, probably because that is where it was moved from a few years back. This is Cannon Street Railway Bridge looking downstream.

You will notice the Rubbish facility on the North bank of the river, where the cities' rubbish is transferred to barges in small containers.

These are then towed downriver to be dumped at Mucking.

More information on this subject (and a lot more photos) can be found at:

http://www.justcanals.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=7578

James Bond, Towers and VHF Parrots

2011-03-26T09:24:00.007Z

I passed the Maidens Tower in the Bosphorus.

I remember this Istanbul tower from the James Bond film, "The World is Not Enough".
In the film, a submarine enters a subterranean cavern under the rock that the tower stands on.

For several years, I imagined that the water was very deep around the tower, as the Bosphorus is very deep.

Considering that the waterway is only half a mile wide at this point, the deeper parts in the middle are over 150ft deep.

Although I knew that the cavern was fictional, I was disappointed to learn that the water around the tower is just a few metres deep and the shelf that falls away on the outward side of the tower is only about 35ft.

Not deep enough for an atomic submarine, I'm afraid, M.

Movies - pah..

I love Istanbul.

It has all the ingredients that I adore - water, boats, cats galore and the exotic food of the east.

Its harbours always bustle with a myriad of different vessels, bobbing in its deep, choppy, fast flowing currents, which teem with fish.

This is the ships radio station - a modern GMDSS system with DSC and satellite.

On a VHF radio, it's very easy to miss somebody calling you or some other vital piece of information.

These VHF sets record whatever is received on the channel and the sound message can be played back on demand, by pressing a dedicated playback button.

The recording is done on an internal solid state integrated "chip".

Ciao Cio-Cio San

2011-03-20T18:03:00.002Z

As long-standing Puccini fans, you can imagine how excited we were to discover that his opera, Madam Butterfly was coming to London.

We used to play the soundtrack often in our old apartment and its famous aria is our favourite classical piece of all time.

I was very fortunate to get tickets for the opera at the Royal Albert Hall, coinciding with the first mates birthday month.

The Albert Memorial in Hyde park - 176ft tall and erected to the memory of the late Prince Consort at a princely cost of £120,000 (1896)

Needs no introduction - well okay then - it's the Royal Albert Hall..

The oriental and opulent set is a Japanese water garden containing some 15,000 gallons of water, which can disappear into concealed tanks in a thrice, leaving a brushed gravel Japanese garden.

I was impressed as to how many Japanese visitors made the effort to attend - many in national costume and complete with cameras hidden in the folds of kimono.

The wedding photograph as Cio-Cio san marries the imperialist US naval lieutenant, Pinkerton.

Once he has had his wicked way with the geisha, he trots back to America and marries his second wife, leaving Cio-Cio with child.

Needless to say, it ends in tears, both literately and literally.

Cio-Cio commits hari-kiri when they try to take her child from her and she is disowned by her own people.

Asako Tamura, who played and sang the lead, ended up with the mascara running down her face as the audience gave her a 5 minutes long standing ovation.

Absolutely brilliant.

What has this to do with canals - unadshamely nothing at all - Puccini did have a dayboat called "Butterfly" on the lake at Torre del Lago.

Outward and Homeward Bound 2

2011-03-17T19:09:00.012Z

It's like the old joke -
You know the best thing that comes from Liverpool -
The road home - boom boom.

Only joking.

Well in this case, it's the route home.

The Salthouse Dock, Liverpool

Wapping Basin, Liverpool Docks

Liverpool Marina with Coburg Dock in the background

Brunswick Dock

The Sea Lock - Brunswick Dock

The Lock Chamber - Liverpool Marina

Entrance to Liverpool Marina from the Mersey

A Tanker discharging at Tranmere Terminal, River Mersey

Outward and Homeward Bound

2011-03-15T18:07:00.012Z

"An' when we gets to the Liverpool docks,
The pretty girls come down in flocks,
One to the other you can hear them say,
Here comes Johnny with his three years' pay,
Hurrah, we're outward bound.."

A Sea Shanty often sung on clippers trading from Liverpool................

Salthouse Dock and the largely empty BW pontoons for the boat show that won't happen.

Oh, I can feel the urge to reach for my concertina for a little shanty..

This wall was built from the remnants of one of the old dock warehouses.

Happy Days

A monument to all the families who emigrated and never saw Liverpool again

Capstan Full Strength ?

Saying Goodbye to Ellesmere Port

2011-03-13T19:40:00.011Z

Well who said that all boats in a museum need to be in pristine condition ?

Seriously though, it is heart rending to see these old boats in such a state, but it's still possible to appreciate them.

I think this must have been a tug of some description judging by the size of the prop that it could have turned.

This is another view of "Ferret".

What museum could be complete without their own Bolinder ?

"Regulus" is a butty, built by W.H. Yarwood & Sons of Northwich in 1935.
She was reunited with her original motor "Radiant" in 1994.

This is the Whitby lighthouse at Ellesmere Port. It was designed and built by Thomas Telford in 1829 to guide vessels into the dock complex from the River Mersey.

When the Manchester Ship Canal reached Ellesmere Port in 1891, vessels had to enter at Eastham and the light was no longer needed.

The Road To Eastham and the M.S.C

2011-03-11T20:33:00.016Z

This blogpost explores the passage through Ellesmere Port from the Shropshire Union and out on to the Manchester Ship Canal.

The National Waterways Museum offers moorings for 7 days (and free entrance to the museum) for the normal price of an admission ticket.
There are no facilities on the moorings, but there is a single water point, which you can see outside the reception building (on the right of the photo below).

The photograph below shows the museum reception building and the free short term 48 hour moorings on the right (where the narrowboat is moored).

Boats coming from the Shropshire Union into the port enter from right to left. The far lock is the Whitby Top Lock.

Looking down towards the lower basin, you can see that the functioning Whitby Locks are on the right whereas the left side locks are being used as an impromptu drydock for the trip boat.

In the photograph below, you can see the Whitby Lower Lock on the right, the lower basin (wider expanse of water) and then in the far distance, the last narrow lock which separates the lower basin from the Manchester Ship Canal. Note the funnel from the sunken boat, sticking out of the lower basin.

A close-up of the wreck is shown here. Whitby Lower Lock is off to the left and the last lock is out of shot, to the right. The channel ahead shows the route through to the lower basin moorings and Raddle Wharf, so named because it was originally used for the handling of red ochre associated with ore. It is also the route to the wide lock shown further down below.

The sunken boat is something of a navigation hazard for a longer boat trying to enter

the final lock - the submerged hull sticks out quite a way !!
She is ex Admiralty Harbour Launch Diesel (HLD) No.39461. She was largely exposed last year when the water level in the basin was lowered by about 5 feet.

You can see that a swing bridge straddles the lock.

The local council have to be called out to swing the hydraulically activated bridge for you and they need 8 hours notice.

This is the view from the final lock, looking down into the ship canal basin, currently occupied by a Dutch tug.

Out past the tug and the lighthouse, into the Manchester Ship Canal.

If the other route is used, past Raddle Wharf, the ship canal can only be accessed via the wide lock, which looks like it hasn't been used for a while.

This is the view on the ship canal up towards the Weaver.

This is the view towards Eastham Locks and the Mersey.

The Best Little Museum in Canaldom

2011-03-09T19:50:00.018Z

We finally managed to get to the National Waterways Museum at Ellesmere Port and what a little cracker it is.

In our cruising, we have visited the London Canal Museum and Gloucester, but this one is the jewel in the crown.

Ellesmere Port was basically a transhipment port.

It sits between the Manchester Ship Canal and the Shropshire Union Canal. The location is only a few miles from the tidal River Mersey with the great port of Liverpool a few miles downstream.

Beyond that, the World.

Cargo would come in to Liverpool or the ports on the ship canal, in large ocean going vessels and get transhipped into wide beam barges or Mersey sailing flats.

Smaller coastal ships or the wide beam barges would enter the lower basins of Ellesmere Port and then their cargoes would be transhipped into working narrowboats in the upper basins.

Once loaded, the narrowboats would travel the canal network, reaching potteries, coal mines, factories and so on. Of course, it would also work the other way round, with British exports originating in the heart of England, being shipped to the colonies and the world market.

Transhipment was achieved by cranes and railway trucks around the dock.

The museum is huge - the waterways are still intact, but some of the transhipment quay buildings and warehouses have been replaced by sympathetic modern buildings like apartments, offices and even a Holiday Inn Hotel. The British Sub-Aqua club have their offices in the modern part of the complex.

In the photo above, you can see how the port looks when entering from the Shropshire Union.

You can see the Whitby Locks (well the lower ones anyway), which allow narrowboats to enter the lower basin.

"Ferret" is shown here. Built by Yarwoods at nearby Northwich in 1926, she is a motor and would have towed an unpowered butty. The building behind is the old dock office.

Bacup is one of the last Leeds and Liverpool Canal motor short boats to be built (1950).

One of the saddest things about the museum is the fact that so much of it is undergoing restoration. It must cost an absolute fortune to keep the buildings in a good state of repair and to renovate the boats. They have done a fantastic job and there were lots of busy volunteers in attendance, working on the boats, surveying, tending the gardens, etc.

There are, however, a lot of boats in very poor condition. Some I imagine are too far gone and some are work in progress.

There is a beauty in their decay and even in death, they still have the power to excite the true boat enthusiast.

"Mendip" is a case in point. They were hard at work on her.

She was an F.M.C boat, also built at Yarwoods and was the fifth boat of six ordered, being

delivered in 1947.

These workers cottages are open to the public. Built in 1833, they had no running water, electric or even gas. They had a shared earth toilet out back. Although this seems primitive now, it was pretty normal for the time.

This boat caught my eye. Amaryllis is a 1954 motor cruiser with mahogany planking on oak frames. Powered by a Morris Vedette engine, she still turns heads with her curvy bilges.

Below is her cockpit - I love the speaker !!

Don't miss part 2 of the Best Little Museum in Canaldom, where I plan to go into some more detail about the basins and lock arrangements and show a few more pictures of boats and wrecks.

Now You See It; Now You Don't

2011-03-05T16:59:00.004Z

The other morning I woke up to find that Moo, our cat, had been out mousing at dawn and had left the rear half of a largish mouse on the roof. Quite used to this, I vowed to deal with it after breakfast.

Coming out again later, dressed and ready with miniature body bag for the mutilated rodent, I found that it had disappeared.

I inquired to the first mate if either of the cats had gone out on deck again - nope - still inside, curled up asleep.

Slightly mystified and wondering if a large carrion bird like a magpie or crow could fly away with half a mouse suspended beneath them, I absently gazed out of the window and saw a female Sparrowhawk like the one shown in this illustration, about 10 yards away, gazing back at me.

Apparently, they like easy kills.

Mystery solved.

What A Ke-racker !!

2011-02-25T19:49:00.009Z

Fed up with the UK weather, I took a job for a few days in Dubrovnik, Croatia.

In the port lies the replica of the 16th century carrack, the "Karaka".

Built about 6 years ago from GRP at Murter Shipyard in Croatia, she is 30m long and powered by twin Caterpillar diesels.

Costing around 5 million Euros to build, "Karaka" now takes corporate guests for short cruises down the stunning coastline in air conditioned, opulent luxury.

She was used for a Mastervolt dealer conference in Croatia.

It now looks like she will be chartered to Abu Dhabi for 2 years.

Sveti Vlaho (also known as Saint Blaize) is the patron saint of Dubrovnik.

During the war in 1991, the Croatians requisitioned a tour boat from the marina and fitted her with armour plate and machine guns. She was used to run the blockade that immobilised Dubrovnik, carrying guns and supplies before being taken out of action by a Soviet made anti-tank missile.

Now she is a museum piece and makes a good landmark by the side of the harbour.

Guess Who I Met Today ?

2011-01-30T19:52:00.003Z

Guess who I met on the cut today ?

This Black Swan wanted me to feed it, but I didn't have anything with me.

Very tame and possibly an escapee from a private lake stock.

Cygnus atratus is a native of Australia.

Plunged Into Darkness and Dead Ships

2011-01-22T21:30:00.009Z

Its been a strange week of sensory deprivation.

Whilst visiting a company late in the afternoon, I had occasion to visit the toilet.

It was a large company and therefore a large toilet - usually the type you see in films like Harry Potter (where Myrtle the ghost resides) or where you see the hero getting six shades of shite kicked out of him by the villain.

I was standing in an open cubicle, doing what men do standing up, when suddenly the lights went out. As it was already night time outside, it became completely black and I mean as dark as the darkest hole in the darkest corner of Hades.

There I stood, peeing in the dark. A very strange experience - you should try it.

Without being too graphic, I managed to stay on target by sound. When the pressure started dropping, I moved to the next phase by using the light of my iPod. Luckily, I have a torch application for just such as occasion.

Its rather surreal, peeing by iPod, I can tell you.

Anyway, I managed to clean my shoes (only joking) and navigated myself out of the urinal eclispe, to discover that the office cleaner had turned the lights off, thinking no-one was home.

There is a restaurant in Berlin called the Unsicht Bar, where you eat your food in complete darkness.
The staff are blind or visually impaired and its supposed to be a sensory rush.

To be honest, I've met people who cook so badly, they could get a job as the chef. At least you wouldn't see the burnt offering until you tasted it.

http://www.unsicht-bar-berlin.de/unsicht-bar-berlin-v2/en/html/home_1_idea.html

My second experience was on a ship.

I visited a ship in the UK to conduct a pre-installation survey.

When I got there, I discovered that there were only a couple of people on the ship, as the ship has no work and all the crew had been sent home earlier the same day.

If you ever saw the movie based on the Stephen King book, the Shining, you will have some idea of how I felt.

Ships are normally vibrant places, with engines vibrating, smells of cooking, sounds of habitation. Much like hotels.

A dead ship is a creepy place to be.

I moved around the ship, trying to find the things that I needed to eyeball and identify.

Normally a friendly crew member would assist me with local knowledge.

Not possible this trip, hombre.

Puzzled as to why I couldn't find one particular item that I needed to locate, I searched and searched.

It completely fazed me for thirty minutes.

Eventually, I noticed a mismatch between the level of the wheelhouse floor and the deck below.
A mezzanine level showed me a 4ft difference which I couldn't account for.

There was a hidden compartment !!!

I knew it was there, but couldn't find an entrance.

In the end, I found an entrance hatch in a completely different place. It was unmarked and I only discovered it through determination and bloody-mindedness.

I opened the hatch to find a huge space, which was clean and well lit. Unfortunately, it was only 4ft high and I turned into a hunched cave dweller.

On all fours, I crawled between beams and girder sections until I located what I needed.

I had gone from being suspended 100ft in the air, with the wind and gulls, having an excellent view of the harbour, to being a troglodyte in a white steel cave.

I breathed a sign of relief as I strided up the windy quayside back to my car.

Dead ships are for dead men - creepy indeed.

Under Pressure

2011-01-08T15:45:00.008Z

Not a boat related post this time, but still gadget related.

We have a modest and quite economical 4X4 car which we use to ferry us and all our kit backwards and forwards to the boat.

Very useful its been too, especially in all the wintry weather that we've seen just recently.

The first mate is always fooled by the balloon-like tyres fitted to the car and she often asks me if I think this tyre or another looks a bit on the flat side.

So, I've fitted this device to the car.

Its a wireless tyre sensor.

The dust caps on the valves are replaced by little barrel shaped wireless transmitters which lock on to the tyre valve with a special key.

The four of them independently transmit coded messages to the receiver/display at the driving position and as you can see from the photographs, these are continuously displayed.

This is the pressure display in PSI.

This is the tyre temperature display in Degrees Centigrade.

The display has an inbuilt alarm which will detect high tyre temperature, high tyre pressure, low tyre pressure and quickly failing tyre pressures, for all four wheels.

A few years ago, I had a Renault which had this as standard. Beautiful car - could cruise on the motorway all day and when you got out, you still felt as fresh as a daisy.
It had one of these devices fitted as factory standard fit.

Anyway, one day, driving down the M3, it told me that one tyre was slowly losing air - slow puncture ?
As I was doing 70mph, I was able to slow down to a safer speed, pull off the motorway at the first opportunity and top up the air.

By monitoring the loss of pressure and regularly topping up, I got to Southampton, just a few minutes late. The wheel was changed and all was fine (there was a nail in the leaking one).

Had I not had this, I could have run flat at speed.

Always left a lasting impression did that gadget.

Anyway, lets see how it works out on this car.

Happy New Year To All

2011-01-03T12:21:00.005Z

A very Happy New Year to all bloggers and blogwatchers - enjoy 2011.

A Christmas Ghost Story

2010-12-19T10:52:00.001Z

Christmas is traditionally a time for ghost stories - I never really understood why.

We are home at the moment - the boat is iced in and under several inches of snow - she's not going anywhere in a hurry.

Ever since our cats were kittens, they have enjoyed climbing up inside our business desk in our lounge.

They climb up past the printer and get behind the three drawers that we have.

They then usually push out one or two of the smaller letter drawers from behind as they pass down or for a big finale, push the larger bottom drawer out, with them sitting in the bottom of it as it extends.
This then then enables them to go round for a second go.

As they have grown and got physically larger, it has become more difficult for them to do this, although not impossible as they are keen to prove occasionally.

Last night, we were watching TV (well the first mate was; I was watching the inside of my eyelids).

Suddenly, the first mate observed the top drawer nudge and then slowly come out about 6". The second draw nudged a bit and also came out.

The drawer slides are quite stiff - they don't run on bearings or runners and use wood to wood contact.

It looked just like a bit of "cat on drawer" action.

The male cat was asleep on his beanbag on the opposite side of the lounge.

The female cat was nowhere to be seen.

She waited for the big drawer to open, expecting to see the smug looking she-feline sitting there.

Nothing more happened. The big drawer stayed firmly shut.
She verbally encouraged the cat to get herself out of there, otherwise she would have to get up out of her seat and rescue her.

Nothing happened.

Irritated, she got up, walked across the room and opened the big drawer to get the cat out.

Our Tomcat even went across with her and curiously sniffed at the open drawers.

You guessed it - there was no cat inside - the desk was empty - all she saw were the usual letters, books, letter opener, pencils, etc.

After a quick search, she found our queen asleep in the bedroom upstairs.

I missed the whole thing, but it doesn't surprise me. We've had other instances over the years, usually around the first mate.

Just out of interest, the drawers were no more than 2-3m away from the first mate and in clear visual sight at all times.

LineWatch - It Works !!

2010-12-11T18:58:00.003Z

I've been struggling with the LineWatch.
It works fine in terms of the local alarm on board the boat, but I've been having problems getting it to text me when I'm not on the boat.

Firstly, the LineWatch was pulsing the SMS unit and triggering a text every five seconds.
Apart from my mobile vibrating like crazy, it quickly used the credit on the PAYG SIM in the unit.

So, I modified the circuit. Partial success, it would just send one text, but the system stayed locked on in the alarm condition.

Finally, today, I sorted it.

It now sends just one text. If the alarm condition persists (i.e. boat stays adrift and at distance from the sender), it will repeat the text about 45-60 minutes later.

I've now got all the various independent systems that I've designed and built, working together.

There are basically two modes:

Marina mode:

I receive a text on my mobile if:

- There is more than 5mm water in the engine bilge (also generates a local alarm on the boat)
- Somebody trips the shore breaker, so that my battery charger and anti-frost heaters go off

I can then choose whether I want to drive to the boat to check it out or just give one of the marina staff a call.

Towpath mode:

I receive a text on my mobile if:

- There is more than 5mm water in the engine bilge
- The boat drifts more than 5m from the sender unit (e.g. pins forced out by passing boats or boat set adrift by vandals, etc)

These events also activate different tone alarms onboard to wake occupants up.

The text message wording enables you to identify the different causes, so if you're sitting in the pub and can't see the boat, you will know what problem is being reported.

I don't think we are going to drift very far with this ice at present though !!!

Cut Adrift - LineWatch

2010-12-02T20:19:00.005Z

Well I've been busy working on a prototype and I'm pleased to say that it works.

The black unit is the receiver, which mounts on the boat. It operates from the boats 12-15V DC battery supply.

The white unit is the Wireless Sender Unit. Its splashproof and can be attached to a tent peg in the bank, hung from a low branch etc.

When the boat is moored safely, the Wireless Sender Unit is attached to a fixed point on the towpath or bank and is switched on. It runs from a CR2032 Lithium battery and will last for 160 hours on one battery.

The Receiver Unit is switched on with the little toggle switch and the red light flashes to confirm that it is operating.

The Receiver Unit will chirp a couple of times to confirm that it is communcating with the sender and then it will fall quiet.

If the boat is set adrift, accidently by a passing boat or deliberately, by a towpath yob, intent on cutting you adrift as you sleep, the two units will continue to communicate silently.

Once the boat has started to drift away and reaches a certain distance from the Wireless Sender Unit, the Receiver Unit will start to alarm.

An annoying integral buzzer will wake you up from your slumber, before you drift too far.

You can make your boat secure again. Once the original distance is achieved again, the alarm will stop and the system can continue on watch or you can recover the Wireless Sender Unit and move on to a safer berth.

If you are not on the boat e.g. down the pub enjoying a dinner or at home, the Receiver Unit will output a 12V alarm pulse which can be used to trigger a SMS Messaging Unit, which will text your mobile to tell you that the "boat is adrift".

I've called the system LineWatch and am not really interested in producing the unit commercially - not enough demand, I feel.

It was an interesting technical challenge though and I plan to fit it on my boat to test the system in real life conditions.

Cut Me Adrift - The Solution

2010-11-30T20:49:00.002Z

Well I was able to test the prototype gizmo today.

It works..

It has a little Wireless Sender Unit which is about the size of a 50p piece and which needs to be attached to a fixed object like the bank or mooring and a Receiver Unit which is mounted on the boat.
The "Sender" can be attached to a tent peg and pushed into the bank next to the moored boat or hung from a low branch on a towpath tree or bush.

The Receiver Unit is a small fixed box powered from the 12V supply on the boat and which has a little adjustment thumbwheel and an internal sounder/buzzer.

It's simplicity itself to use.

You switch the sender unit on with its mini-switch and place it in its waterproof capsule, before placing it in a hidden position on the bank. It makes no noise and would be difficult for a yob, intent on untying you, to detect.

You switch the Receiver Unit on - it beeps to confirm that it is in wireless communication with the sender. You rotate the thumbwheel back until it alarms and then reverse the wheel slightly until the alarm stops again.
The sensitivity is now set for the distance between your boat and sender.

If the boat is untied and starts to drift away, the alarm in the Receiver Unit will sound as soon as the wireless contact is broken with distance.

It's possible to set the allowable distance to about 3m for example (the distance between the "sender" on the bank and the Receiver Unit on the boat). As soon as the gap increases by another couple of metres (by the boat drifting), the alarm will sound.

If you are onboard, asleep, the buzzer will wake you and alert you to the fact that either your lines have been cut or your pins have been dislodged from soft ground by another boat passing etc.
If you plan to leave the boat unattended by going to the pub for the evening, the gizmo can be attached to the SMS Message Unit mentioned in my earlier blogs and it will text your mobile to tell you that the boat is adrift...

I will post photo's of the unit when I've finished tidying the prototype up.

Cut Me Adrift !!

2010-11-29T14:53:00.002Z

Well the weather's bitter outside and confined to barracks, my little grey matter is still ticking.

My thoughts have turned to being cut adrift.

It's not an everyday occurence, but it's very irritating when some little herberts cut you adrift for a giggle in the middle of the night and you wake up to find yourself somewhere else.

Chains are a good protective measure, but unless you cover them with something they can clank and grind at night. Also, its not fun having to chain your boat up every night, just in case.

I'm thinking about a new "just for fun" gizmo that will tell me if we get cut adrift.

To be exact, a gizmo which will buzz as soon as the boat drifts a metre or two from where I tied her.

Hopefully, I can then go out in my pyjamas, scare the little herberts off and using the boat pole, push the boat back in and make her secure once more.

Much better than waking across a weir.

I've set myself another price target of £50 or less.

The Boaters Fridge Pantry

2010-11-25T17:57:00.004Z

I'm working on a new fridge for narrowboats.
It looks like a normal 12V fridge except it has two doors; one opening into the boat on the front and one removable one on the back.

The back matches a cutout in the boat cabin steel side and when the removable door is removed, the opening is covered in a mesh screen.

In summer, it works just like a normal fridge with both doors closed.

From autumn to spring, you remove the back door and store it somewhere out of the way.

Hey presto, no power consumption for half the year.

Another neat idea from Acme, the boaters think-tank - doh !

Talking Bilge Again

2010-11-23T19:30:00.008Z

Earlier this year, I built a Bilge Alarm and blogged about it - "Are We Going Down" (Jan 2010)

Problems like a weeping stern gland, a faulty weed hatch seal and rain water ingress (especially through a cruiser stern decking) can cause you to have water in your engine bilge.

Having once had a weeping stern gland, I used to lie in bed at night mentally visualising the drip-drip into the bilge. Logically, I knew it was a slow drip and the bilge area large and it wouldn't sink us overnight, but it used to bother me all the same.

It wasn't possible to repack the seal straight away (I wasn't confident enough to do it in the water), so I lived with it until the boat came out of the water.

A weed hatch that hasn't been replaced properly or which has a damaged or dislodged neoprene seal, can ship lots of water. Once the thrust of the propeller pressurises the water above it, the weed hatch can spurt water into the bilge at an alarming rate.

I decided an alarm that would sound when the unwanted water reached a certain depth might be a sensible precaution. Then, at least, I might get a peaceful nights sleep.

Looking around on the internet, I struggled to find what I wanted.

So I built my own - the Mk1 model.

It worked well.

Some other boaters were encouraged by what they saw and asked me to build them one, which I did.

That was all nearly a year ago.

Recently, a new group of boating friends asked me if I would build some more.

The problem is that the Mk1 version was very "hand-matic" - each one took me a day to build.

I decided to re-examine the design and see if I could reduce the component build cost and more importantly, remove the intensive labour content.

In parallel to this, I conducted some research to see how many boaters use or see any value in bilge alarms.

I initiated polls on two of the canal forums.

Response was poor on both - few people bothered to reply !!!

However, even with the relatively small sample taken, I was surprised to read that only about 30% of canal boaters had one.

Only about 28% of the sample were interested in having one.

The product description "used" for the purpose of the survey was a brandless bilge alarm that provided visual and audible indication of water in the bilge at a cost of less than £50.

Apparently, it is possible to buy a readymade off-the-shelf unit from Johnson Pumps at £47 (the Johnson Bilge Alert). One disadvantage I can see with this model is that its sounder is VERY loud.

Whats wrong with that, you say ??

Well it's good in one way - if it sounds while your boat is in the marina and you're not, then everybody in the marina will know that your boat has a problem.

However, if it's the middle of the night, your boat is moored to the towpath miles from anywhere and you are onboard, curled up and in the land of nod, a 100dB alarm might actually make you wet yourself in shock...

The other thing is that it is designed to operate at a maximum voltage of 14.4V - some canal boats with wet lead acid batteries have battery charge controllers that output more than this.

I'm sure the 28% and probably many of you reading this, would be quite satisfied with this product, but something stirred restlessly within me.

I quite like the thrill of the chase.

So, I decided to make my Mk2 version.

A couple of things still bothered me though about "soft" or "loud" sounders.

A soft sounder will be fine to wake you from your slumber or even break you out of your trance at the tiller, but if you're not on the boat at the time ???

A very loud alarm will alert the marina, but will it do you any good ??

The occupants of other boats probably wouldn't know what it meant or what to do - do you leave your phone number with every other owner - can you rely on somebody calling you ??

What if you're moored online on 14-day moorings, surrounded by open space or strangers - what then ??

Mmm - dilemma.

So, my decision was to build the Mk2 Bilge Alarm for less than £50 with a soft sounder.

My unit has the ability to work on a voltage range of 10-15VDC and it can be mounted at any depth - some boaters want to know about ANY water and some just want to know when it overcomes their bilge pump.

The added option of a loud switchable 100dB alarm would be an extra £5-10 (could be mounted in the engine bay with an external switch that allows it to be armed when leaving the boat and switched off without marina staff having to enter the boats cabin).

A possible way round the dilemma is to also use an SMS Messaging Unit with the standard "soft" sounder bilge alarm system.

I blogged about this before - "My Boat Just Sent Me a TEXT" - (26th March).

The bilge alarm goes off on the boat, waking you up if you are onboard. If you're not, it triggers the onboard SMS Message Unit, which it is hard-wired to.

The message unit then automatically sends a text to your mobile telling you that the boat is taking on water.

The unit that I have created will not only tell you that the bilge alarm has been activated, by texting you, but it can be connected to one other input such as a burglar alarm and will therefore text you saying a door has been triggered.

So, this is how it works in the boat to boater direction.

It can also be used the other way i.e. boater - boat - it can be asked to remotely switch something on from your mobile.

For example, you can switch your boat fridge on, long before you arrive at the boat.

You can switch your heating on in advance, so the boat is toasty when you get there.

Finally, it can text you and tell you the state of charge of your batteries.

If your batteries have discharged because you have:

- bad electrics

- someone left something on

- your shoreline has tripped on the pontoon, turning your charger off

You will know !!

You will get a text from the boat telling you the exact voltage of your batteries whenever you ask it.

All sounds good doesn't it ?? - we live in an SMS text age.

Unfortunately, this option costs £150 - the price of this technology is not really coming down in monetary terms - the processors just do more and give you more bang for your buck.

Happy pumping.

Victor Meldrew Forums and Egg-berts

2010-11-22T11:12:00.000Z

I've come to the conclusion that canal forums are dominated by predominately old men (or young men who can't wait to be old men) who just want to repeatedly talk about toilets, the astronomic price of red diesel or argue the rights and wrongs of galvanic isolators.

If the Egg-berts are not ego point-scoring, putting members down in ways that vary from sarcastic to just downright abusive or arguing that black is blue, they're moaning - largely about how inept they feel BW is.

A boating friend, David, once told me he bowed out when he realised that they just keep discussing the same subject over and over again in varying ways.

All in all, it's rather negative and ground-hog day-ish in a cyber kind of way.

The sun has finally emerged from behind the cloud - there is a lot more to life and I'm not quite ready to turn my toes up yet and turn into one half of the old gits.

It's a new dawn, we're moving on from our summer berth, leaving the folk singaround group behind as well.

The silver lining from this particular journey are the musical instruments - they're staying - we enjoy those very much.

Gert-ya..

Melofluidic Wotsits

2010-11-08T12:50:00.005Z

Well, with the decision taken as to what second instrument to play, I've taken the plunge.

It's a Melodeon - it seemed a complimentary instrument to the concertina (well its got buttons and bellows). Actually, my choice was steered by the lovely rich, melodious sound that it makes.

Being physically larger than my little 'tinas, its use on the boat might be a bit limited.

The Melodeon is a very popular instrument in Morris groups, but I've always found "Morris" to be a little sinister and scary. This may be as a result of being in Whitby as the same time as their annual folk festival a few years ago - the number of people patrolling the streets, in strange clothing and with blacked-up faces was quite intimidating and I've been sleeping with the light on ever since.

I tend to play Irish Traditional Music on mine and particularly like the names of Gaelic tunes that I can't pronounce.

At the moment, I'm practicing old wartime tunes like "its a long way to Tipperary" in honour of Rememberance Sunday on the 14th.

Wish me luck, as you wave me goodbye, won't you !!

The Beat of the Shantyman

2010-11-02T15:05:00.009Z

I have a lifelong love of sail - to be specific, tallships and in particular, 19th century clippers.

Since being bitten by the concertina bug back in July, I've been eyeing 19th century concertina's on Ebay.

Modern instruments are fine, but unless you spend a small fortune on custom built ones (£2500 and up), modern concertinas are "hybrids" - they use accordion style reeds.

The older concertinas have the real thing and sound slightly better (you probably would never notice unless you heard both, one after the other).

Anyway, I've been lusting for a while and by a quirk of fate, secured this beautiful example.

The photograph doesn't do it justice, but it was manufactured in London around 1873, a hansom-cab ride from the Wapping and Limehouse Docks where the clippers used to discharge tea and other cargoes.

To put this timeline into perspective, Cutty Sark was built in 1869.

The fretwork ends are Rosewood and the bellows are green leather.

Ironically, the leather is the same colour as a settee that I once saw in the panelled masters dayroom of a sailing ship in a museum.

The instrument has been refurbished with new straps, pads etc, but I believe the fretwork, bellows and steel reeds to be the original ones.

Anglo concertinas tended to be owned by the lower classes - English concertinas which are a very different design were more the squeezebox instrument for the middle and upper classes.

My anglo, which is quite a basic one, would have cost its original owner around 30-40 Shillings - a lot of money then (about 770 Pounds based on todays earnings).

It still plays bright and clear..

There is a shanty called the "Old Fid"

The words go:

"To a melody sweet with a shantyman beat,

Don't ask me where I've damn well bin,

Don't ask me what I did,

For every thumb's a marlin spike

and every finger's a fid"

Regular blog-spotters will know that my revelation passages are often circular.

Fids are used to make narrowboat fenders..

Happy boating..

Gadzooks, its a Xaphoon

2010-10-28T14:21:00.004+01:00

Well, I've always wondered why many musicians play more than one instrument.

I thought they were just show-offs, but actually, making music is quite addictive.

The "buzz" of creating your own sounds is enhanced by using different instruments and therefore different timbres.

I've just bought this for the first mate.

Its called a Xaphoon - it comes from the US and is the size of a recorder, but sounds like a cross between a clarinet and a saxophone.

Invented about 20 years ago, it seems to be a great way of having a portable sax - it uses a tenor sax reed but plays like a whistle.

One thing we have discovered is that its very loud for its size and the blowing technique required is very different from the low D whistle.

Now, I've just got to decide what my second instrument will be ???

That X-Factor Moment

2010-10-26T21:42:00.005+01:00

Well, we've passed a landmark occasion for two reasons:

Firstly, I played and sung at the same time, for an audience.

Secondly, the first mate and I played our first public duet.

Playing and singing sea shanties to yourself is one thing; playing to an audience of singers and musicians is something else.

People are so used to programmes like X-Factor these days, where everybody is encouraged to be a critic, I'm sure that 21st century Britain has an expectation of being entertained to some sort of professional standard every time somebody performs in front of them.

However, if this is the case, the group are very good at masking their thoughts.

One thing I've learnt from this journey is that if you even make one mistake when rehearsing, its going to be ten in front of a group.

Never mind, its a closed room and the natives are friendly.

There must have been something in the air last night as many of the more polished regulars were forgetting their words.

One interesting twist was the introduction of storytelling.

One (new) person told tales - it doesn't take much imagination to think of tribes sitting around the fire in a long hut on dark nights listening to tales of stormy coasts and cold, deep scottish lochs, while the wind rages outside.
Personally, it reminded me of being back at primary school (in a nice way !!).

Ah well, this is getting a bit like Scheherazade and the tales of the Arabian Nights - we aren't getting much boating done.

Somebody asked me the other day why we cruise so hesitantly and slowly.

I replied that there is more to a journey than notching up as many lock miles as possible.

When I was at sea, I visited many places for a day or two and foolishly thought that I'd seen that country.

I don't intend to make the same mistake narrowboating and we find that sometimes you have to hang around long enough to absorb the character of an area - after all, theres no hurry...going back to my original introduction to this blog, in Ely, all those light years ago, it's the quality of the journey itself that counts - not the destination or the speed that you move at.

Free advice, Freely Given

2010-10-23T09:00:00.004+01:00

What is it with people and forums ??

Internet forums are very useful resources for tapping into knowledgeable people and getting advice on a variety of subjects. I use them for a variety of different things.

Asking for an opinion is one thing, but what is it about people who think its quite acceptable to ask experts how to do a job that they would normally be paid for.

Would you phone a car mechanic and say "hello, I have a problem with my car. Its not starting. I don't want to pay you to fix it, as I think its something I could cope with myself and I'm a bit strapped/tight (delete as appropriate) at the moment.
Could you tell me, stage by stage how to fix it, so I don't need to employ the services of a professional like yourself. It will only take you 20 minutes to talk me through it and I know that you've probably got nothing else to do".

The noise of a disconnected line would be deafening.

Actually, it could be the basis for one of those candid camera type programmes.

For example, ring up a professional and see how much you can get him or her to tell you for free before he realises you are taking the proverbial and puts the phone down on you.

Whats really worrying is that this request for advice often revolves around tinkering with mains electricity when the person is barely able to wire a plug.

Recently, one boater wanted me to explain to them how to construct a longer shoreline out of assorted plugs, extension cable and pieces of flex. They weren't prepared to buy the correct connectors and 20m of Arctic mains cable (far too expensive).

The really, really worrying thing is that when I refuse to get drawn in to it, (on safety grounds, let alone any other reason), they seem to be able to find some idiot who will tell them how to do it.

A lot of internet sages are currently advising new boaters to buy a secondhand boat rather than considering new (due to the problems with boatbuilders going bust and the fact that there is a plethora of secondhand tonnage around at the moment).
What they don't say is that in about half of those boats, they were wired by aspiring DIY carpenters, welders or plumbers and the wiring is not always top notch (that's me being polite).

The 12V side should be covered to some degree by the Boat Safety Scheme survey but the AC/Mains wiring is a free for all.

Would you buy a house that was rewired by somebody who can barely wire a plug ??

Kaval on the Canal ?

2010-10-16T18:56:00.005+01:00

I've been working in Turkey for the week.

Following the thread of my recently renewed interest in folk music, I set out to explore the world of Turkish music.

Trudging the streets of exotic and mystical Istanbul, I ignored the modern music shops with their electric guitars and saxophones to seek the Mr.Benn-like smaller shops (BBC "Watch with Mother" reference probably lost on anybody not between the age of 45-55).

The beauty of Istanbul is that they still have a Bazaar mentality. Streets are dedicated to products.

For example, you can find one street that only sells power tools.

Similarly, there is a music street.

Walking along this twisting and narrow street, it didn't take long to find a shop which was festooned with oddly shaped wooden instruments, hanging from the ceiling, like vegetables in a greengrocers.

Initially, I was interested in an Ocarina, a small wind instrument shaped like a sweet potato.

However, discovering that this is not a Turkish instrument, my interest was diverted to an assortment of wooden flutes and whistles and a gift for the first mate was sought.

Eventually, I narrowed my search to a selection of Kavals, which are a traditional shepherds flute.

With the assistance of my very good Turkish friend (the shop assistant spoke no English), the guy in the shop played each one and let me hear the musical range that they played.

I choose a long, low pitched one that through translation, I believe starts at A.

A price was negotiated, 30 Euros was parted with and I returned to the hotel, wearing the Kaval, across my back, like David Carradine walking the wilderness.

Wikipedia says that the Kaval is a chromatic end blown flute associated with mountain shepherds in the Balkans and Anatolia.

They are often played in pairs, with one person playing the melody whilst the other plays a drone harmony. The unusual thing is that the Kaval has odd holes along its length which seem to be designed to be left uncovered.

Another interesting instrument is the Cigirtma, which is traditionally made from the wing bone of an eagle - not surprisingly, the shop was fresh out of eagles wings...

Black is the new - eh - Black

2010-10-10T00:43:00.005+01:00

Well as I said last time, I have discovered something of a new world.

Being able to play on a concertina, has gained me an entrance pass into the new world of folk music and singarounds.

What started off as banging out sea shanties to let off steam and gain relaxful enlightenment, on the mooring, has mutated into driving around the countryside with a little wooden instrument box that reminds me of the priest on the exorcist.

The thought of little old me walking along a foggy, wet street with a little box, my heels clicking on the slick, shiny cobbles as I stride; knocking on strange doors, to exorcise good music from within, makes me giggle.

Singarounds are groups of like-minded people who meet regularly to practise and keep alive, the tradition of folk music.

Usually accompanied by pints of real ale, the turn goes around the room and each person gets the chance to play something, sing something or read a poem. Some shamefully talented people write their own songs so get a hat trick.

One thing I discovered is that a mediocre rendition of "New York Gals" gains you the opportunity to hear 15 other talented people play a myriad of instruments and sing brave new songs.

Beer and almost free music - can't be bad.

I just need to achieve my half century ambition of being good enough to play for free beer, now..

Honky Tonky Tina

2010-10-05T18:04:00.006+01:00

Well I've been absent without leave for a while.

Haven't done much boating since before Brazil, but have discovered a new love.

Tina is always there when I need her and falls readily into my willing hands, for a quick squeeze.

One day I woke up and thought to myself, wow I'm nearly fifty.

What do I do, get a sports car, buy a Harley ?? - nah..

I thought its time to set myself a new challenge - something to stir the brain cells.

For some unknown reason and I mean, unknown - its a bit like somebody else put the idea in my head, because it crept up on me from nowhere, I decided I was going to play the concertina.

You didn't think Tina was another woman now, did you ???

I have never played one, nor do I know anybody who's got one.

Anyway, long story short as one of my friends is fond of saying, I bought myself a cheap Anglo Concertina and taught myself.

Its taken me a couple of months and I need to read the dots (sheet music) because my memory is incapable of storing the myriad of tunes that I play, but I can play it.

I spent much of our hotter summer days, swinging in my hammock in the saloon on Willawaw, with every window and hatch open, playing sea shanties.

We are not inconsiderate people and we took the boat along the canal to isolated towpath locations, so the only people I tormented was the occasional walker or cyclist.

I have discovered several things as part of this little musical journey.

1. I can still read music from when I was 12
2. Its incredibly relaxing and de-stressing to just play whatever tune comes into your head
3. I have discovered a whole new raft of friends in the music world

I've always thought of people that like folk music as bearded with tank tops (and thats only the women)..
However, I heard a group playing the "Leaving of Liverpool" at Crick this year.

This obviously triggered something off in me, which has culminated in this..

Anyway, no longer content to just play to the towpath, I set off in search of bigger audiences and wow - what a brain blower that turned out to be !!!!

The Boys From Brazil are Back

2010-08-17T22:12:00.010+01:00

Chatting to the fishermen on Copacabana Beach, I see that they catch all kinds of fish that I cannot even put a name to - well with the exception of Espada (A.K.A Black Scabbard fish), which I've seen in Cape Verde and Madeira.

What puzzles me about the fort at Copacabana is that although its function was defense, somebody went to a lot of trouble to also make it decorative.

Even the soldiers bathroom has very ornate wroughtwork.

This photograph (below) reminds me of an old sea movie - I keep expecting Gregory Peck to appear in an 18th century captains uniform, clearing his throat, in a Hornblower-esque manner.

21st century Brazil has a number of technical refinements. The cycle station below allows you to phone a number on your mobile, in order to hire a bicycle.

The cost of the hire is charged to your mobile phone account and once the payment is cleared, the bike is remotely released from the rack, for you.

This display board tells you which sun factor suntan lotion you need to use on a given day for a particular skin colour.

It also tells you if it is safe to swim off the beach or not.

Tchau from Brazil.

The Boys from Brazil

2010-08-15T10:37:00.006+01:00

Regular readers of this blog will know that one of its features is that each seemingly unconnected post has a gossamer thread linking each subject.

This year has been a busy year for travel and todays blog finds me in Brazil - Rio to be exact.

The photograph below shows Ponta de Arpoador - or Harpooner Point, in the background.
This is the piece of land jutting out into the sea, where the original Brazilian indians and Portuguese settlers used to harpoon whales who came too close to shore.

Beyond and hidden by the point, is the famous Ipanema Beach.

The next photograph (below) shows Copacabana Beach. Just above the line of luxury hotels on the beach is one of the many Favela's in Rio. These are basically, slum housing. Many these days are ruled by drug lords and are no-go areas for ordinary folk. Tourist companies make deals with the rulers of these mini-kingdoms and take in small buses of tourists, to see what life is like in the favela.

The BOPE or special police are high trained in urban warfare. I hear that there are plans to clear the favela's before the world cup comes to Brazil in 2014.

I saw one of these BOPE patrols next to us at traffic lights. They were driving a matt black 4x4 which reminded me of something out of the "Mad Max" movie.

The occupants were dressed in SWAT gear, wearing body armour and the muzzle of an automatic weapon was resting outwardly through the open front passenger window, with the barrel in the crook of the driving mirror.

Late at night, it's sometimes difficult to distinguish between the sound of gunfire in the favela or the bangs of firecrackers, which denote the latest drugs delivery.

The photo below shows some of the guns on Copacabana Fort, which was built by the German arms company, Krupp, for the Brazilian Army in 1914.

The guns have mainly been fired to suppress or support internal uprisings.
In 1922, the fort was controlled by army rebels and fired at their own battleship, which returned fire and with 2 direct hits, forced the rebels to surrender. The largest guns have a range of some 14 miles.

Copacabana Beach is a beautiful beach of some 4Km in length. The sand is clean and fine. I was there in the southern hemisphere winter - the daytime temperature was about 28 Degrees C.

I'd hate to think how hot it gets in summer !!

This advertisement hoarding hosts a secret:

In the edge of the hoarding are green buttons. If you press them, a cool, hydrating water mist is emitted, which you can bathe in, to rejuvenate you after time spent in the hot sun.

At a distance, it seems quite weird to watch people standing, waving their hands around themselves as they bathe in the invisible mist.

On the left of the picture, you can just see the famous Pao de Acucar, or Sugar Loaf mountain.

One of the strange things about Rio, is the way that the ultra poor and super wealthy, mix.

Copacabana is not a particularly safe place, especially at night.

Walking the beach in daytime, will see you stopped by beach vendors trying to sell you drinks, t- shirts and so on.

Locals build sand sculptures and every photograph you take, will cost you.

It is recommended that you wear cheap beach wear and don't show watches or cameras.

I was advised to carry about 10 Brazilian Real (about £3). They said "if you get mugged, just give them the ten - don't refuse or give them nothing, as if you are unlucky, they will stab or shoot you without remorse".

Mugging seems to be readily accepted by the Brazilians as a kind of poor tax.

Getting Canned in Stavanger

2010-08-08T23:47:00.012+01:00

Well, we eventually arrived at our destination, Stavanger.

Here we unloaded lots of specialist oil exploration equipment and very nice it was too.

Not a lot of people know this, but the man who invented the sardine can key came from Stavanger.

Once a principal fishing port, Stavanger conquered the world with its canned brisling - 50 million cans went out in one year alone, in its heyday.

We managed to eat brisling that had just been smoked. They put skewer like pieces of wood through the eye of the fish and hang them in wood smokers. Beautiful..

Stavanger was (and to some extent still is) the heart of the Norwegian shipping scene. This is a replication of a ship owners office from the early 20th century.

This is the "nosy mirror", allowing you to see what is going on in the street, without being observed yourself.

Old and new - a viking longship overtakes an oil rig undergoing repairs at the offshore base.

Our first sight of Norway - the Norwegian pilot trying to board us in a stiff breeze - sorry these aren't in a sensible order..

And so, this brings us to the end of the voyage.

I flew back to the UK from the modern Sola airport at Stavanger.

Where are we going next ? - no idea..

The Boys Icelandic Road Trip

2010-08-03T12:25:00.008+01:00

Is Iceland, Greenland, and vice versa ?

The islands were definitely wrongly named.

From my perspective, Greenland is icier and Iceland is greener - silly Vikings.

Well, we had a few technical problems on the trip back from Greenland and had to put into Iceland. The pale skinned trogs got busy in their boilersuits in their +40 Degree C engine room
and the bridge boys went on an Icelandic road trip.

Can't remember or pronounce where we went, but the views were breathtaking.

Exhibit A, m'lud is an example of a seriously breath sapping waterfall.

We exhausted all the geezer (geyser) jokes, but here is a shining sample of a diamond geezer.

They wheeze asthmatically and bubble like a pease pudding junkie in the bath (probably smell similar as well)..

and then they go - whoosh - sorry didn't get enough vertical zoom out on the top of this one.

This is the Strokkur geysir (no nudge nudge jokes please - the lads have done them all).

It erupts every ten minutes or so and shoots up to 90ft in the air.

It caught me out every time and the water feels like it comes from a kettle.

I touched the run off some way away and it was still so hot, I could only keep my finger immersed for a second or two.

This is why nobody wears whalebone corsets anymore - this is a creepy old Icelandic whaler.

You can't see it with your naked eye, but the funnel bears the motif of a blood stained whale - complete with red paint - urggh .. I can think of nicer things to show on a funnel.

Don't dress things up, these Icelanders.

Hunt To Live

2010-07-31T18:11:00.012+01:00

There is no doubt, Greenland is an inhospitable terrain.

We visited in June, in perpetual daylight and during a Northern hemisphere heatwave.

In winter, its nearly always dark, with howling winds and freezing sub-zero temperatures.

We saw what looked like a metal garden shed, which is used as a winter morgue (they cannot bury the deceased in winter because the ground is frozen).

The sub-zero temperatures keeps the bodies until spring.

In the summer months, the children play, the men hunt and the women make beautifully decorated clothes.

Seals are still hunted for meat and skins, although with rifle and outboard these days, rather than kayak.

This is the local fish market. Greenlanders were happy to let us try raw seal meat.

The black object at the back of the table is a seal flipper. The rest of the meat is assorted parts of seal.

Cold water fish are also plentiful and I couldn't name all the species.

Even the children play at hunting; in this case, trying to hook crabs.

Closing with the Natives

2010-07-21T17:27:00.010+01:00

And so, we closed with the natives of Greenland.

Pretty terrifying, aren't they ??

All joking aside, they were very nice people. The local kids spoke Greenlandish (or is that Greenlandic), English and Danish. Obviously brighter than me who only speaks English, a smattering of French and Anglo-Saxon.

Its not often that you arrive somewhere and the locals aren't trying to rip you off and sell you things within minutes.

The inhabitants of Greenland appeared genuinely interested to meet visitors from Europe, although the crew of our ship would have put the crew of Johnny depp to shame on the Black Pearl.

We had a Scottish captain, Croatian chief mate, a bluenoser second (from Newfoundland) and an Irish third mate. Jolly the bosun is from one of those head hunting islands up Borneo way and the engineers ?? - no-one knows or cares - they are all pale skinned troglydytes who don't see enough daylight.

It was nice to see that the Greenlandish still use traditional forms of transport - these girls probably wouldn't have been allowed to paddle these inuit kayaks in the good 'ole macho hunting days.
In the 21st century, the boats are made of GRP rather than sealskin. The days of being stitched into your boat and relying on the "eskimo roll" technique with those thin paddles, to save your life from a capsize (few inuits could swim - well would you want swimming lessons with icebergs ?) might have gone, but I noticed a small animal skull on the bow of the black to ward off evil..

This is an Inuit menu for the local take away - do you want whale with that sir ?

Little fishing boats and bigger fishing boats..Greenland style.

Seals are still hunted for meat and clothes but more of that in the next death defying episode.

It's Obvious Really

2010-07-12T15:03:00.003+01:00

Life is funny - sometimes obvious things stare you in the face and you don't see them until you trip over it.

My day job is designing, servicing and installing electrical equipment and systems on ocean going ships.

The hourly labour rates for that sort of work are quite high, so if something needs to be installed on a ship which will involve long-winded labour-intensive tasks like running long cables, penetrating steel bulkheads to get the cables through etc, the people who own the ships will generally pay labourers (at a lower hourly rate) to do that work and then hire somebody like me to design it, draw it, connect it up, set it up and so on. This keeps my chargeable time to a minimum.

This has been the accepted way in my business for as long as I can remember.

Coming back to the subject of canals, when I talk to fellow boaters and they tell me in passing that they have installed a new inverter or similar, but its not working properly as they've used the wrong cable or its not got adequate ventilation etc, I often ask them why they didn't pay a professional to do it.

The answer is always the same - we couldn't afford it.

It occurs to me that the electrical needs of the shipowner and narrowboater are similar - get a good job done, but at minimal cost.

Many boaters are quite capable of the DIY skills needed for 95% of the installation.

They sometimes just need a little help and guidance on the difficult electrical bits.

Experience often means that I can see an easy way of installing something that will save a lot of work and unnecessary parts. Often I can save them money by knowing where to use the more expensive components and where the cheaper components will work fine.

I've been doing bits and pieces on narrowboats for quite a while and of late, I tend to follow a set pattern.

I tend to visit the boat initially to do a site visit, make a drawing of how it needs to be done on that particular boat layout and "spec" (and sometimes obtain) all the bits that are needed in the form of a kit. Often the boater will buy the parts themselves using a shopping list that I provide - this saves them money.

The boater then does all the time consuming parts at their leisure according to the plan, like mount the units, run the cables in, etc.

If they have a question - they phone or e-mail me. A lot can be resolved by digital photos etc.

When they are ready, I go back to the boat once more and wire up what they have done, carry out any specialised bits like making up battery connectors etc and commission the installation.

This way, the cost of all-out time consuming labour is avoided and the boater gets a properly designed and specified installation for a few hours paid labour.

By the way, I don't and couldn't charge big ship labour rates to inland waterway boat owners, but it helps to keep the wolf from the door between deep sea jobs.

Hummocks, Bummocks and Bergy Bits

2010-07-10T17:50:00.025+01:00

In the Arctic, icebergs originate mainly in the glaciers of the Greenland ice cap which contains approximately 90% of the total land ice of the Northern hemisphere.

Due to the prevailing currents, many drift down the east coast around Cape Farewell, which is the Southerly-most tip of Greenland and then head North up the Davis Strait, which is the other side from Iceland.

A much larger crop of icebergs come from glaciers in Baffin Bay - it has been estimated that more than 40,000 icebergs are present there at any one time.

There are many types and formations of icebergs - they almost have their own language, which is where todays blog post title comes from.

Hummocks, Bummocks and bergy bits are all formations of ice.

After leaving British waters (we last saw the West of Scotland a long way off), our first landfall was just North of Cape Farewell (Cape Greeting or Cape Hello might have been a more apt name).

Not very friendly these Greenlanders, when you've only just arrived.

Better than Cape Sod-Off I suppose.

Anyway, we soon started sighting icebergs in the distance.

Greenland was said to have been discovered by the Vikings and has had an on-off relationship with the Scandinavian countries ever since.

Technically, it is currently a possession of Denmark.

Most Greenlanders speak Danish as well as Greenlandish and the Danish Krone is the coin of the realm.

They have their own parliament, have been allowed to call all the settlements by their native names and receive a lot of money from the Danish crown.

The Danish aren't silly, especially if there really is a lot of oil and minerals there.

Anyway, the icebergs gradually got bigger as we got further North.

We motored up and down for a while, but eventually decided we needed a few fresh items and decided to close with the natives.

After so much sea and wilderness (we had hardly seen any ships since we left the Irish Sea), it was exciting to watch the coloured dots of a distant settlement growing larger in our binnoculars, until eventually you could make out people and cars moving (well - what did you expect ? - huskies).

Getting as close as we dare in the sheltered fjord, we eventually dropped anchor, parted our hair, brushed our teeth and launched the rescue boat.

NEXT - Trading with the locals

Northward Bound - Cobh

2010-07-06T18:55:00.015+01:00

I haven't blogged for a while - sorry.

I wanted to fit Willawaw with some solar panels to help charge the batteries when the boat is left unattended, so ironically, I left her at a boatyard for safe keeping and got a short contract at sea, to earn some money.

It came to pass that I was soon winging my way to Cork in Ireland to join an offshore oil supply vessel, which was bound for the Arctic Circle.

A U.S. Geological Survey has estimated that some 50 billion barrels of oil may be found offshore of Greenland.

The portion of the Labrador Current flowing through Davis Strait off western Greenland is known as “iceberg alley” because huge chunks of ice that calve from the northern glaciers make their way into the northern Atlantic along this route.

Ironically, global warming, which has melted some of the Arctic glaciers, has made offshore drilling in these waters more feasible.

My ship was due to work on the coast of Greenland, to further this end.

It was a further irony that our sojourn into the icebergs should start from the last port of call of the RMS Titanic - Cobh (or Queenstown as it was known in 1912).

This pier could well be the last earthly point that her passengers touched.

There is also a rather gloomy memorial to those lost on the Lusitania when she was torpedoed in 1915 by a German U-Boat off Kinsale Head with the loss of nearly 1200 people.

Its not that Cobh is a sad place - quite the opposite and Kellys Bar on the waterfront at Cobh went a long way to make up for it, with copious amounts of Guinness, Smithwicks and Jamiesons chasers being consumed prior to sailing for Greenland.

Obviously, too much was drunk as I could have sworn that the local Garda police station looked like an aircraft carrier.

Crick 2010

2010-05-30T21:40:00.015+01:00

The Crick Inland Waterways Show is held every Whitsun Bank Holiday at Crick Marina

It's not only boats that are sold at Crick..

The entertainment was also pretty good..

and not all Gardner engines were on boats !!

More photographs about the boats and equipment on display can be seen at:

www.justcanals.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=63&t=6070&start=0

Memories of Liverpool Left Behind

2010-05-28T17:59:00.015+01:00

This is the lock gate between the Salthouse and Albert Docks - I love the way the wood is distressed - note the depth - 21 feet !!

The Mersey Ferry - Royal Iris going back to Birkenhead

The Memorial to the Engine Room Heroes of the Titanic - The doomed ship was registered in Liverpool. 244 engineers went down with her.

The statue of Captain F.J "Johnny" Walker who commanded the most successful anti-submarine fleet from Gladstone Dock.

The pilot boat "Kittiwake" with the Merseyside Fire and Rescue boat in the background

Wacker Quacker 2

A Breitling "Wing Walker" doing a 180 mph walk along a warehouse roof at Albert Dock

The Leaving of Liverpool

2010-05-26T19:52:00.040+01:00

The new Liverpool Link now means that canal boats arriving in Liverpool on the Leeds and Liverpool Canal can enter the dock system and for the first time, sail past the "three graces", which consists of the Liver Building, the Cunard Building and the Port Of Liverpool Building.

The Leaving of Liverpool is a photo sequence starting from the BW Visitors Mooring in Salthouse Dock and passing through the new Liverpool Link, heading towards the Leeds and Liverpool Canal.

Visiting Boats can spend up to ten days on the mooring, which is plenty of time to enjoy the delights of the City.

Salthouse Dock is used for a multitude of purposes including powerboat racing, tourist trips and open water swimming. There is certainly plenty of "entertainment" just outside your porthole.

The slipway (far left - above) is used for Yellow Duck Tours and "splashdowns" occur at regular intervals.

This is the bridge between the Salthouse and Albert Dock - note the capstan by the lock gate - this would have been used to warp sailing ships between the docks.

The Albert Dock is pictured below.

This is the bridge between Albert Dock and the Canning Half Tide DockThe Tidal Lock into the Mersey and Lock-masters office (Canning Half-Tide Lock)

Looking across to Mann Island

The Pumphouse Pub in the Canning Half Tide Dock

The old Mersey Bar Lightvessel in Canning Dock - now a cafe bar

The first "new" BW lock at Mann Island - currently surrounded by new development

The sequence of five photo's below shows the new link, which alternates between open canalised sub-terranean sections connected by short tunnels. The new Museum of Liverpool facility is due to open next year. The link passes the three great iconic waterfront buildings which epitomises Liverpool. The central building of the three is the former headquarters of the White Star Line, which operated RMS Titanic. Its appearance has changed little since 1912.

Below is the Princes Dock Lock in Princes Dock. The channel for canal craft is buoyed - I'm not quite sure why as the water is over 20 feet deep. There are also "bubblers" releasing air into the static dock to keep the water oxygentated.

Note how the lock chamber is at the level of the tunnel to the pierhead area and different from the Princes Dock water level surrounding it.

Below is the imaginatively designed, but unimaginatively named, Bridge EE in Princes Dock.

The more ordinary Bridge DD which connects Princes Dock to the Central Docks

COMING: Memories of Liverpool.....

Gunpowder Alley

2010-05-08T19:38:00.028+01:00

A lot is said about canal restorations, but did you know that there is a canal, still partly in water, which was exclusively used for carrying gunpowder and munitions ??

As I'm about to go overseas again for work, we had to leave the boat in the wildlands and travel back to Essex for the weekend.

To pass the time, I visited the Royal Gunpowder Mills at Waltham Abbey.

A stone's throw from the River Lee Navigation, the museum, a shadow of its former self, still covers around 170 acres.

The Mills closed in 1945 after 300 years use and were then used as a secret research establishment. The area was finally opened to the public in 2001.

This closely guarded secret garden was a world leader in nitro-based explosives. It developed guncotton in 1865 and patented cordite in 1889.

Although in essence a gunpowder, explosive and propellant factory, the nature of the product and its inherrent instability meant that each stage of the process needed to be kept far apart from the next, often with blast shields in place.

The result is a decaying, industrial wildlife park, covering an area half the size of Hyde Park and full of otters, badgers, deer, etc.

Due to the physical spread of the site, they found it safest to move goods around using their own private canal network.

Both raw and finished products were transported on wooden barges like this, which were propelled by punting or hauling.

Some barges have been scuttled in the remaining, watered canals and can be seen like ghosts from the past, shimmering beneath the surface.

The waterways are at different levels and there are locks to move between the levels and out on to the River Lee, where the finished product could be transported by larger barges like the "Lady of the Lea" to the Royal Small Arms factory at Enfield or the Royal Arsenal at Woolwich.

This lock was built in 1878 (9 years after the Cutty Sark was built).

Note the unusual paddle gear using horizontal wheels.

As part of the decontamination process, about 2 feet of topsoil was removed, so the canal bed is shown lower than it actually was. You can see the real depth, indicated by the white mark on the lock walls.

The canal ran between the towpath on the left and the various outbuildings on the right - note the loading docks, which were waterside when the canal was in water.

This canal bridge (which now has a visitors walkway through the arch where the water originally ran) bears the emblem V.R - RGPF - 1878 (Victoria Regina - Royal Gunpowder factory)

This cast iron aqueduct (1878) took the canal across a stream, of which there are many on the site.

This is one of three aqueducts at the RGPF - there are only 26 in total on the whole English canal network.

One of the aqueducts had its bottom fractured and blown away by the force of two nearby nitro-glycerine explosions in 1940 - I believe 7 men were killed.

A model of a powder barge made by an apprentice.

Another outhouse served by the old canal. Note the covered loading area so they kept their powder dry.

At one point in time and if laid end to end, the waterways of the canal system at the RGPF were ten miles long.

This is a rather ornate fire alarm stand from the Royal Small Arms Factory, Enfield dating from 1904.

Gallery photos from the RSAF, Enfield (including some of the navigation) can be seen here:

http://www.rsaf-aa.co.uk/rsaf/heritage/gallery_1.html

The RSAF was privatised and sold to British Aerospace in the late 1980's.

It is now a housing development.

This link shows how the powder mill area looked in its heyday:

http://www.royalgunpowdermills.com/railway_model.htm

Ocean Greyhounds

2010-05-04T22:15:00.007+01:00

Real boats at Gunwharf Quay in Portsmouth.

Rescued and revived, these World War 2 craft still look fast and mean on the waterfront in Pompey.

Caval Canalcade - Little Venice 2010

2010-05-02T23:39:00.010+01:00

We had to pop home this weekend and leave the boat in the wildlands.

As we were near London anyway, we decided to visit the IWA Cavalcade at Little Venice on Sunday afternoon.

After studying the weather forecast, we discovered that the rain would stop after lunch and it was pretty much, spot on.

N.B Kandahar has all the war medals...

N.B Aqua Vitae has a full set of cans.

This is "Middlesex" passing the real present day working boats as she heads towards Paddington Basin.

The remainder are just blowing bubbles in the air.

There are a few more pictures on the Just Canals Forum here:

http://www.justcanals.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=41&t=5949

Forth & Clyde

2010-04-08T19:11:00.011+01:00

I find myself fascinated by the Forth and Clyde Canal in Scotland.

It is effectively a trans-Scotia canal.

You can travel from the River Clyde on the west coast of Scotland (Irish Sea) to the River Forth on the east coast (North Sea).

This means that a small enough craft can get from the Irish Sea to the North Sea without going round the Northern and much exposed tip of Scotland or through the Caledonian Canal which is also further North.

However, in saying that, there seems to be very little interest in the canal from boaters or the authorities. It appears very low key.

The entrance from the tidal Clyde into the canal at Bowling, near Glasgow is a very pretty and popular spot.

Situated just up the river from where the Cutty Sark was built at Dumbarton, Bowling was once a railhead and all kinds of cargoes were transhipped from puffers (remember Para Handy and Vital Spark ???).

The canal keeps a low profile as it skirts the centre of Glasgow before shooting off cross country towards Falkirk and the tidal River Carron.

I managed to try the chips at the famous "floating" McMonagles fish and chip shop on the canal at Clydebank. Note the "cruise through" serving hatch in the side, where boaters can place their orders as they cruise past.

I think this bridge near Mc Monagles is meant to resemble a swan in flight.

The evocatively-sounding Port Dundas in Glasgow is a big disappointment.

It seems as if a city like Glasgow that has the mighty and famous Clyde just couldn't summon any enthusiasm for its poor relation, the Forth and Clyde canal.

The Glasgow arm heads south from the canal, towards the centre of the city.

The terminus is Port Dundas - a dead end, in more than one sense of the phrase.

Once a thriving industrial scene containing textile mills, chemical works, granaries, distilleries, glassworks, iron foundries, power stations and engineering works, it is now a ghost town.

They even have to invent people !!!

Old photographs reveal its been very run down for much of the late 20th century.

Now, yuppie flats are starting to spring up amongst the tumbleweeds of a former Glasgow.

The last bastion of industry, the Port Dundas Grain Distillery closed down last year.

Until then, it produced whisky used in the Johnnie Walker, J&B, Bell's, Black & White, Vat 69, Haig and White Horse blended whisky brands owned by the last owner of the distillery, Diageo.

Now, there is just smaller businesses housed in industrial units and the Cormorants drying their wings.

Pigs Squidge

2010-04-05T09:47:00.003+01:00

Nifty Mi-Fi

2010-03-30T20:03:00.008+01:00

Loosely referred to as the "dongle", dongles are small cellular transmitter-receivers, about the size of a computer USB memory stick, which when shoved into the USB port on your computer, allows said computer to access the Internet, without the use of wires.

One of the greatest problems with using dongles on boats is that you invariably have to sit in strange places around the boat, in order to get a signal.

If you ever see a boater sitting on the roof of their narrowboat, holding a laptop, in the middle of the winter, there's a good chance its because he has a temperamental dongle.

Most cellular networks in the UK are geared towards highly populated areas, motorways etc.

There isn't much mileage for these operators, in putting masts up near the canals.

This usually means that the signal strength on the cut is from middling to non-existent.

As a direct result of this rule, boaters have experimented with everything from external aerials to putting their dongles in freezer bags and hanging them from broomsticks on the roof.

The extra height can often improve reception.

Unfortunately, you still need to sit attached to the dongle by a USB cable.

Today I purchased a new solution.

Its the Huawei E5830 Mi-Fi Dongle.

Essentially, its a normal dongle, which works on the Hutchinson Telecom "3" network.
Its difference is that it contains a wireless (Wi-Fi) transmitter, so once it has acquired its signal through the cell, it then transmits to any wireless device in range.

This means that a wireless ready laptop, netbook or iPod Touch will suddenly be the lucky recipient of internet access, without the use of wired routers.

So, to cut an already long story, short, I now have wireless on my boat, which works anywhere I can get "3" coverage.

As we chug our way around Englands green and pleasant canals, I take my own personal Wi-Fi "cloud" with me.

The Mi-Fi fits nicely in the cratch, where it is protected from the rain, but permanently powered by a mini USB port (which is currently supplied from the boats AC inverter supply).

It means that I can use my laptop or my iPod anywhere in the saloon. I can sit comfortably, with my feet up, on the sofa or sit at the table on the dinette.

Whats more, as the Mi-Fi allows more than one user to access its wares, the first mate can use her laptop while I'm surfing on my iPod.

Its a bit early for a full road test report, but one little niggle so far; if you don't refresh a web page for a while, the Mi-Fi disconnects itself from the service, which means a trip to the cratch for a reset (you have to push a button on the side of the Huawei unit).

Also, it would be nice if you can see what the Mi-Fi signal strength is, from the laptop.

Well you can't have everything and I think Mi-Fi is "sci-fi".

My Boat Has Just Sent Me a TEXT

2010-03-26T06:31:00.002Z

One of the little projects that I am currently working on, is remote control of boats by SMS.

Now, before you all starting writing to your M.P's, I'm not talking about moving the boat by SMS (that would be silly !!).

No, I'm talking about switching on items of equipment on the boat, remotely, by sending it a text.

Just Imagine - you only use your boat at the weekend !!

It's Thursday lunchtime and its going to be a nippy Easter Bank Holiday.

You plan to drive up to the boat this evening after a hard week at work.

The journey to the marina is going to take an hour or two in the traffic.

You'll arrive to a cold boat and spend the next couple of hours trying to warm it up.

BUT: you can text the boat with your mobile and tell it to turn the heating on !!!

Really ?

Well, to be precise, you can text the boat's SMS Portal and it will recognise its you and switch the diesel heater on for whatever duration you tell it.

What's more it will text you back and confirm that it's done it.

You start your drive to the marina and you've got all the food for the weekend in the boot of the car.

However, you don't have a shore line, so the fridge will be off and it's going to take a while to chill down and get the beer/wine cool.

No problem, text the boat and tell it to turn the fridge on.

MUCH LATER

You've have a great weekend, relaxing and cruising.

You finally get home on Monday night, worn out.

As you pull on to your drive, what you don't know is that you forgot to lubricate the stern gland after your trip.

Its been dripping away since you closed the boat up and drove away from the marina.

Water is slowly but surely building up in the bilge.

Its very slow, but it will be several weeks until you will return to the boat. Lets hope the bilge pump and the batteries are up to it.

Suddenly, your Bilge Alarm Monitor goes off - it's detected 5mm of water rising on your baseplate.

Nobody can hear it sounding inside the boat.

No problem - your mobile vibrates.

The boat has texted you and tells you there is a problem.

It's a long drive back to your boat when you are tired, but it's better than finding a flooded bilge in a fortnights time.

Shine On Harvest Moon

2010-03-12T21:31:00.006Z

As part of my long term commitment to the owner of Harvest, my last task in the Harvest ECO boat project is to get the remote control installed and working.

Back in 2005, as an interesting theoretical challenge, I started designing Harvest with Paul.

The design brief was that the boat would be capable of being remote controlled.

In 2007, the agreement was made that no money would change hands, but I would be allowed to publish details of the project on the Just Canals forum, in exchange for my efforts.

The main problem is that everything was purchased in 2006 and has been sitting around on the boat ever since.

Luckily, I tend to keep copious notes and drawings.

The batteries in the remote control (transmitter) have been discharged for four years and Paul, the boat owner, couldn't find the key for the switch which is needed to switch it on.

No problem.

I managed to hot-wire the key switch and put the batteries on charge.

There are basically 3 steps to full remote control:

1. Bow Thruster
2. Propulsion
3. Rudder Steering

Paul is still busy getting the hydraulics bled and sorted, so we elected to leave the rudder steering for another day.

So, I installed the receiver unit to the 24VDC supply and got that to power up. The receiver was then connected to the thruster panel first.

We had a little debate about whether the thruster arrows should indicate thrust or boat direction, but in the end, agreed to mimic the set-up on the hard wired control panel.

When all was powered up, it was quite amazing to stand on the towpath next to a securely moored boat, press the thruster buttons on the yellow transmitter box and watch the bow surge against its tethers.

The system appears to be quite safe. If the radio signal drops out or one of the buttons malfunctions, a microprocessor in the receiver unit senses this and drops an interlock relay so that nothing moves.

This was inadvertently tested because we have a teething problem with either the power of the transmitter or the aerial location.

The receiving aerial is currently inside the console and cannot stay there. Also, we are not sure if the rechargeable batteries are goosed as they have been sitting around for so long.

When you start to walk away down the towpath from the wheelhouse, the radio link is lost after about 3-4 metres.

The contactor drops out in the receiver and all control is switched off so everything stops.

On my next visit, I will have to replace the batteries and try to rig up a remote aerial that can be seen at all times, in order to maintain the "line of sight" contact needed by radio systems.

Before I left the boat, I also managed to interface the remote control to the electrical propulsion.

So thats two out of three - to be continued....

Twittering Nicholsons Updates

2010-03-04T23:54:00.002Z

I see that the Nicholsons Updates blog is twittering news of each and every update as they are issued.

Seems a good idea as it means you don't have to keep checking the blog to see if anything useful has changed.

After all, I haven't got time to religiously update all my Nicholsons guides for every update from NU, but its quite useful to just update the guide for the stretch you're on, as and when.

Twitter notifies you if there is something of interest and then you can go to the blog to make a note of the correction detail.

http://nicholsonsupdates.blogspot.com/

http://twitter.com/ @nicholsonupdate

Hey, Willie Winkie, are you coming in?

2010-03-03T23:15:00.004Z

Last May, I blogged about Tesco:

http://nbwillawaw.blogspot.com/2009/05/wake-up-and-smell-coffee.html

I seem to have a love/hate relationship with the chain of stores.

I hate going there, but am inexplicably drawn to their hallowed portals.

Now I hear that they have banned shoppers from wearing their nightclothes in the shop.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8484116.stm

Shame, because if you have to do it, the wee hours are the best time to shop...

Nicholson's Updates

2010-02-27T20:50:00.007Z

A blog has been started to notify boaters of any changes to facilities and features of the canal since the last Nicholson's Waterways Guide was published.

We mainly use Nicholsons Canal Guides, but I often find that the books become out of date quickly.

With pubs shutting down, etc at a rate of knots, it doesn't take long before a favorite acclaimed boozer becomes a boarded up hulk.

Anyway, this blog site is a resource for boaters to be able to post details when they find things have changed.

Not much on there yet and you need to have the latest books which have only been out for a year.

http://nicholsonsupdates.blogspot.com

Snails and Snowdrops

2010-02-21T10:10:00.003Z

The first snowdrops are here:

To Blog is Human ?

2010-02-14T11:52:00.006Z

As I sat in my bath making extravagant use of gallons of hot water, my bathtub thought of the day (see my blog post of 18th December), turned to the subject of blogs or more precisely, why do we blog ??

As Willawaw chases the setting of the sun at the average pace of a walking ladybird, I considered at some length, the essence of why I do it.

Why do I and my fellow blogonauts feel the need to emit spurious and incandescent pools of words into the ether at regular intervals.

I suspect that each gets their own special "glow" from the deed.

Those that do it on a consistent basis surely do it for their own gratification.

Man is far too selfish to continue with this time consuming activity, for the needs of others.

For me, it is the literary equivalent of releasing a wild bird from a small cage within me.

Each time I blog, I get a feeling of release and freedom.

I'm driven with a basic urge as strong and possibly misguided as the actions of Capt.Nemo and the good ship Nautilus.

Man is such a small flicker in the gloom which is time.

As I listened to Chopin's Waltz No.7 flowing out of the Bluetooth speaker and the strains danced around the cabin, it occurred to me how special it must feel, to compose pieces of music that, although the equivalent of an 19th century number 1, are still being enjoyed two centuries later.

How would Chopin feel if he knew this ?

Surely, its the ultimate accolade to any person.

Will Westlife or Take That still be admired by masses in the 23rd century ? I wonder ?

Blogging is nothing more than a verbose flicker of the candle.

Haiku-like, the cage is opened, the bird flies, and the speck that the bird becomes, is lost in the open sky.

My heart is lightened by that bird and its newly found freedom.

Country's Going To the Doors

2010-02-13T12:43:00.007Z

There is a danger that I'm turning into a grumpy old man.

But, I don't think so....

I went to a charity bash last weekend.

You know the thing, they charge you £50 a ticket and then try to get you to spend more with a succession of auctions and raffle ticket sales.

I looked at the auction items which started at about £60 and up and there were about ten differing things for sale.

Now, I know it was all in a good cause and participation was optional, but none of the auction items appealed to me.

Various golfing rounds, the hire of a mini-JCB for the afternoon, a spa session, tea at a London hotel and a designer name watch.

The watch eventually sold for £110.

I said to the twenty something girl who bought it, "you paid £110 for that watch but you only gave it a quick glance".

Yes, she said, but it was a **** watch !!! (* = designer name)

Never heard of them, I replied. She gave me a blank look as if she was talking to somebody who had been on a desert island for the last twenty years.

It was quite clear to me that she only bought the watch for the name.

For a long time, I've noticed that the UK follows the USA, probably the greatest consumer society of all time.

Generally speaking, trends and social patterns that occur in the USA happen over here some time after.

It used to take a number of years, now with the "media" like the internet, it happens much quicker.

The dollar is the religion in the USA and we are becoming the same here.

There are many names for what is going on and people far more educated than I can recite the long words.

However, to my simple soul, religious beliefs, family values and ethics are all up the creek.

My daughter who is a teacher, told me that she took her class of small children to St.Pauls Cathedral. They had a great day, but just as they got to the top of the 365 steps, there was a fire alarm and they had to evacuate.

My daughter was shocked to see the adult tourists who were also up there, pushing past her 6 year olds, in order to get out first.

Mind you, at least the UK has toilets with the male and female doors, the same size, unlike this one in Turkey !!!

I don't think equality has reached Turkey yet..

Snow on Savarona

2010-02-09T17:46:00.005Z

Yes, it really does snow in Istanbul.

This February view of the Bosphorus shows ferries and other vessels moored in the snow.

I took this photograph from a moving car crossing the bridge.

The classic yacht with the buff funnels is the 1931 124m steam yacht, Savarona.

Originally built in Hamburg for an American heiress, she is probably best known as the yacht of the famed Turkish leader Kemal Ataturk, founder of modern Turkey, who died in 1938.

She is named after a species of African swan and is a truly beautiful ship.

http://www.savaronavoyage.com/mainpage.html

My two favourite spaces on this ship are the hamam (Turkish Bath)

http://www.savaronavoyage.com/hamam.html

and the beautiful Savarona Suite, one of 17 suites onboard:

http://www.savaronavoyage.com/savarona_suits.html

Reservations on Central Reservations

2010-02-07T22:03:00.002Z

The Turks have found a great new use for the central reservations on their highways.

They remove the overgrown grassy verge and litter and install;

a Bus Lane....

Their bendy buses run between stations along a dedicated tarmac lane in the centre of the highway.

The stations are reached by bridges from each side of the highway and concrete crash barriers prevent other traffic entering the bus lane or bending the bendy buses.

No traffic problems in the bus lane of course and as the buses go in pretty much a straight line, there are no problems with bendy buses knocking cyclists off their bikes.

He's Lost His Bottle !

2010-02-05T22:36:00.002Z

Starting the "it can only happen in Turkey" series, this is a photograph of a Turkish Water Cooler man trying to deliver refills by motorbike.

Excuse the quality of the photo, but I shot it as an opportunist snap through a car windscreen with a phone-camera, earlier this week.

Believe it or not, he was trying to carry 5 large, full water bottles on specially made holders on his motorcycle in the middle of winter. He lost the bike on the roundabout and there were bottles everywhere....

Shall We Send Them Back ?

2010-01-29T20:06:00.003Z

The First Mate bought a new pair of shoes for the summer.

No, they didn't come with mixed up sizes, but they did come with a cute "shoe" key ring, which matched the real pair.

Are We Going Down Again ?

2010-01-27T22:11:00.003Z

Things have moved forward, on the Bilge Monitor front.

Some boaters just wanted a no-hassle, ready-to-go, Bilge Monitor that they could just connect to their 12V supply.

So, I've constructed an Alarm Panel for the Bilge Monitor.

This is for the boater who doesn't want to mount the indicators on an existing panel and wants something ready-made for bulkhead mounting.

From top-left, clockwise, the controls are:

Alarm on/off/reset button, test button, flashing alarm LED, buzzer, fuse

3ft of power cable is supplied already connected and can be connected directly to the batteries (to by-pass the battery isolation switch) or to the boats DC distribution panel. No additional fusing is required.

The next step is to make a dual channel alarm panel that can accept signals from two different sensor inputs e.g. one from the stern gland and one from the bow thruster space/fresh water pump or underfloor bilge...

Are We Going Down ?

2010-01-18T18:12:00.013Z

Following comments made by some other boaters about their fears concerning unseen leaks on their boats, I decided to see if I can produce some electronics to provide a little peace of mind.

There was talk of sleepness nights, worrying about leaking stern gland seals or suddenly discovering wet carpets and flooring, as a result of a leaking fresh water pump.

Stern glands often drip when they need adjustment or re-packing, but when you are lying in bed onboard, in the dark, these fears can often assume unreasonable proportions.

Also, a fracture in a plastic pump housing can leak gallons of water into the bilge, undetected.

Sometimes, this doesn't get detected until the floor covering starts to show signs of the rising water.

It occurred to me that if I could detect a leak, then I could raise an alarm on the boat, to alert the occupants that the bilge was filling with water.

If the occupant was sleeping or on deck with the engine running, it would need to be loud.

If the boat was moored and unoccupied, the system needed to be versatile enough to be able to connect to an SMS alarm system, so that it would initiate an SMS text warning to the owners mobile phone.

So, I produced my "Bilge Monitor".

It comprises of a small waterproof box, which sits in the bottom of your engine bay, near your stern gland or by your fresh water pump (depending on what you want to monitor).

The box has rubber feet to stop it moving with the boats movement or vibration and its heavy enough to not float off in the event of water ingress.

There are two metal sensor pins coming out of the bottom of the unit. Their length is designed so that they will not touch the metal surface of the bilge.

If the water rises in the area where the box is located, as soon as the water level reaches the pins, the box will send a signal to an LED warning light and piercing buzzer, somewhere else inside the boat.

The system is supplied complete with a buzzer, Red Alarm LED and a Green On/Off and reset switch.

I have shown them on a cardboard background because they are designed to mount neatly in your console panel, electrical panel or just on the bulkhead somewhere.

All three items are designed for console mounting.

The system is supplied with a 5m cable which connects the indicators to the sensor box. It operates from a 12V supply and regulation circuitry is built into the box to allow operation from a voltage range of 11V to 15V, so your alternator output doesn't damage any of the components.

A 24VDC version can also be produced.

So, does it work ??

Here is a little movie that I made.

Excuse the quality, but hopefully it demonstrates the function.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-HOjLgbJ_0

Watering Down..

2010-01-17T18:39:00.005Z

Bored with the ice-bound weather and spending hours on the Internet, I suddenly decided it would be fun to make myself a water level meter to measure the amount of water in the fresh water tank on the boat.

We already have one on Willawaw, but it uses a small moving needle gauge like the fuel gauge on an old car.

Its very hard to gauge (no pun intended) how many days worth of water, you have left.

So, I decided to make something a bit more sophisticated.

This is the result:

The indicator has ten yellow LED's.

The first one indicates tank 10% full, the second 20% full and so on until the tenth one shows 100% full.

Nothing illuminates until you press the red button (to save battery power).

The green LED then lights to confirm that the battery is okay and the relevant yellow LED's show you the level.

It doesn't need an external battery supply, simplifying installation and will work for 2 years on 2 x AA cells.

The sensor is a solid state, vertical cylindrical plastic tube (no moving parts !!) and is 25mm in diameter).

It reaches from the top of the fresh water tank to the bottom of the tank.

There is no limitation on cable length for narrowboat use - the sensor can be in a forward tank and the display at the stern, if you so wish.

I have given it a name for a bit of fun..

The cost of parts is less than £50.

All The Nice Boys Love a Sailor !

2010-01-12T19:02:00.006Z

The latest member of my collection arrived today.

As anybody who has read my recent AVO blog will testify, I have a liking for classic clunky electronics.

Sent to me by a friend who took it off an old vessel, this Sailor RT144B used to be the VHF of choice for fishermen all over the world.

I like it because it has no complex integrated circuits and can be fixed with a soldering iron.

It works, but needs a bit of T.L.C.

It needs new lamps behind the dial for night time illumination and the volume pot needs replacing as the tracks are dirty/noisy, but otherwise it works well.

Lots of VHF radios were replaced when GMDSS came in and sets with digital selective calling became the order of the day.

Sailor sets are famous for their ruggedness and are characterized by their green colour.

The fishing skippers in Aberdeen, Peterhead and Buckie used to just ask for a new green set - no makers names were necessary.

Simon Petersen founded S.P. Radio (Sailor) in 1948 as a domestic radio and later TV manufacturer in Aalborg, Denmark

Simon was born in 1901 at Bjergby, the son of a farmer.

He is said to have studied with Bang and Olufsen at Aarhus Technical College in the twenties.

S.P Radio faced increasing competitive pressure in the early sixties and finally stopped making television in 1965.

Meanwhile, Simon had noticed opportunities in the market for maritime radio communications equipment to small vessels.

In 1970, they produced the VHF Radio Telephone type RT144A.

Suddenly, VHF was available at the reduced price of £3500.

(Ironically, you can now buy a VHF for under £100).

Sailor went on to build ships radio stations and a wide range of equipment.

Today, they are owned by the large communications group, Thrane & Thrane and their green sets were produced until only recently, still using the Sailor brand.

You can still get their later RT2048 and RT2047 VHF sets on eBay. These went out of production in the last year or two.

Strangely, Willawaw has a fixed VHF set built into the control panel, which is an unusual grey version of the RT2048 - it's a very good VHF, which has been used on the Thames and Severn transit, but it is a pushbutton set !!

Thrane now use their corporate blue and so ends the era of the "green set".

Simon died in 1994.

It's a Skier; No it Really IS

2010-01-09T22:37:00.003Z

Happy New Year - First post of 2010.

Not much has happened since the last entry. I bet you're bored of snow photos by now aren't you ??

We have been snow and ice bound since just after Christmas, so not a lot to report unless we blog about cabin fever.

I'm used to the first mate saying mind out there's a cyclist coming along the towpath.

When she said mind the skier, I looked at her incredulously thinking it was a wind-up, until a skier passed me !!!

Ware - Where ??

2009-12-28T17:51:00.003Z

Guess who got a new camera for his Christmas present ??

This is the result of our post Boxing Day lunch walk along the River Lea in Ware, up to Hertford Lock.

Rabbit - An Obituary

2009-12-23T13:08:00.002Z

Rabbit passed away this morning, aged 14 years.

He was a dwarf rabbit and had been my daughters pet since she was eight.

We never really agreed with rabbits living in a hutch, but it was kind of foisted on us.

Anyway, he was off his food yesterday (unusual for rabbit) and was a bit wobbly on his pins

Apparently, he perked up a bit in the evening and was moving around and took some fresh greens that were given to him.

This morning, he wasn't too good.

He was brought into the house and made comfortable on a bed of hay in a box. Rabbit was just laying on his side, snuffling and his breathing was laboured.

At least, he had human company and was stroked.
Apparently, Blue, our cat, just sat and watched him, as if he sensed it.

As Rabbit wasn't getting any better, they took him to the vets but he died in the car.

He was only a rabbit and rabbits get killed on the road every day or end up in the pot.

However, any life is precious and all animals leave an imprint on your heart.

I often used to feed him some greens or his favourite treat - rabbit yoghurt drops.

He was very tame and would let you stroke his back and ears while he ate them.

Rabbit will be cremated - no flowers please.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W.H.Auden

RABBIT 1995 - 2009 R.I.P

Inverted Thinking

2009-12-22T14:38:00.004Z

Many boaters ask what the technical difference is between the more expensive Pure Sine Wave inverters and the basic Modified or Quasi Sine Wave inverters.

Of course, many know that a lot of the fussier mains powered domestic equipment on boats needs pure sine wave and won't run properly on MSW/QSW inverters.

However, few know why...

These are the waveforms that I captured from my two inverters.

This one is the output from the Mastervolt pure sine wave inverter on Willawaw:

This one is the output from a Maplins cheapy modified sine wave inverter that I use in the car sometimes:

Even without any electronics expertise, you can see that they are very different and the distorted (almost squared) waveform of the MSW inverter is a compromise between a reduced technical complexity, which allows it to meet the price target and its ability to supply many, although not all, mains appliances.

The pure sine wave from the Mastervolt is an emulation of the mains that you get from your household socket. It is achieved with a lot more circuitry, which results in the increased cost.

Most devices with motors or microprocessors, digital clocks, etc struggle with the outputs of MSW/QSW inverters.

As is usual with electronics, you get what you pay for.

If you don't want to spend all that money on a pure sine wave inverter, then the answer is to run as many appliances as possible from 12 or 24VDC and then just use a small Maplins type MSW inverter to charge your phone, camera, etc.

Bathtub Thought of the Day

2009-12-18T12:53:00.000Z

One of my great luxuries in life is soaking in the bathtub.

I rate it so highly amongst life's little pleasures that we had a separate bath and shower fitted on Willawaw at build.

Whilst soaking, my mind tends to wonder to the weird and wonderful.

Heres bathtub thought of the day for today:

Will the archeologist's of the future end up excavating our landfill to learn more about the way we live ??

Most of the plastic items will probably still be there ?

Avocets and Constantan

2009-11-27T08:23:00.003Z

As one gets older, you have to keep pace with the modern age (well at work anyway), but I have noticed that at a certain point, you start to take interest in old things.

By that, I mean articles from the earlier years of your life.

When young, its quite common to always be pitching at the latest fashion or the latest technology and to dismiss anything from yesteryear.

At a turning point in your life (and you never know exactly when this is), you suddenly start becoming attracted to "old stuff".

When I was 16, I went to radio college to learn about electronics.

For our practical work, we used a black box mystically called an "AVO".

The size of a small birthday cake and heavy enough to give somebody concussion when swung, the AVO was our constant companion and saved us from electrocution.

It's purpose was to measure Volts, Amps, Resistance and so on and it was the "Bees Knees" when it came to fault-finding. It was our shining knight in Bakelite.

30 years on, I still have one.

Its not the one I used at college - that never belonged to me at the time, but the one I have, is very similar.

They were made in the UK by a British company called AVO Ltd and the Avocet bird was their company trademark.

Just reading the wording of the manual takes you back to the language of the empire.

It has been superceded by modern technology in all respects except class.

If you just want a meter which gives you fast accurate meter readings, then it would be far better to buy a new digital unit - I use several in my everday work.

However, the AVO is an antique and what's more, its an antique that can still be used.

In the same way that you see the guy driving to work in a restored 1970's MGB or a Morris Minor, its possible to get pleasure from using an antique.

There is a simple pleasure in using something that doesn't have PCB's and has CAM switches which make satisfying noises when moved (not electronic beeps).

Anything which uses Constantan and Alcomax in its consistency has just got to be fun.

Electronics in the AVO age was schoolboy physics.

Now its the work of the devil - you can't repair anything in the field anymore.

Unfortunately, I like collecting old electronics.

Recently, I nearly bought an RT144 "Sailor" VHF which is another favourite of mine.
Luckily, common sense, a lack of workshop space and the fact that the boat already has a Sailor RT2048 VHF prevailed.

At sea, one of my more modern ships had a Scopex dual channel 10MHz oscilloscope. I understood that.

Now, looking at the latest ones, they do far too much and are far too complicated for what I need.

I think I will get one, as they are very useful for a wide range of fault finding, but I will either get an old one from Ebay or buy one of the new handheld types.

I've obviously passed my turning point, but at least I can embrace the new with enthusiasm and an open mind, whilst still savouring the simple pleasures of the past.

To be locked into one or the other has got to be limiting and blinkered - surely its better to be balanced and have a foot in each camp ??

Boxes and Holes In The Ground

2009-11-18T18:16:00.006Z

The politicians keep telling us that we are coming out of the recession.

I know that's nonsense.

"Are you a master of economics ?" I hear you ask

"How do you know ?" you say.

It's very simple.

A recession means that demand falls.

People lose their jobs, they can't buy things.

Demand for luxury consumer products goes down.

This leads to more job losses and general insecurity on a global scale.

The harbingers of doom in the media who originally started banging on about a recession to match the great depression have managed to unsettle everybody.

Those that do have money, sit on it, to ride out the forecasted storm.

Demand falls further, factories close and the ships that deliver all the widescreen TV's with cinema surround sound aren't needed anymore.

The backwater ports get cluttered up with unwanted and laid-up container ships like this one.

When this ship and the others like it get taken out of mothballs, I will know that things are getting back to normal.

In the meantime, the drydocks which are nothing more than holes in the ground, are largely empty.

I watched workmen working in this one and pouring cement into cracks in the ground, waiting for better times.

It seems that the only people who can afford a lick of paint and general wash and brush-up is the Danish royal family, who have their yacht in for some TLC.

Dannebrog, built in 1932 is still the Imperial Yacht.

So, the Danish monarchs, unlike ours, still have their retreat. Mind you, the Danish pay a lot of income tax.

Under The Waterline

2009-11-12T18:09:00.001Z

Today I got an invite down to the world of Hades from our Chief Engineer.

The subterranean (or should that be sub-mediterranean) engine room is a world I love to visit.

The engineers have been nagging me for a few days to connect up a rudder feedback potentiometer on the rudder stock.

This "pot" basically feeds details about rudder position, electrically back to the wheelhouse.

The steering gear was removed in the shipyard for an overhaul.

Ours is only a small ship of about 80m length, but the steering gear is the size of a smart car.

They cut a hole about ten feet square in the deck above the steering compartment, lifted the steering gear out with a crane and overhauled it ashore.

It was subsequently put back and the deck re-welded into place above it, once again sealing the compartment.

I love going down into the engine room through the watertight doors.

It is deafening even with only one Mitsubishi generator running.
We have two auxilliary gensets, two main engines and two shaft driven generators.

You wear ear defenders, communicate by shouting at each other or using sign language and they have all the tools, workshops and big machinery you could ever wish for.

The engines are started by compressed air, the cylinders are big enough to climb in and they have acres of computer monitors and instrumentation to watch in the engine control room.

The ship has to be largely self-sufficient when at sea, so they carry a full metalworking workshop, spares and a wide range of raw metals - a plethora of cables, steel bars, wood, plating and all sorts.

I really am torn between whether I like to play with electronics on the bridge or the big machinery like shaft generators and three phase switchboards down in the engine room.

Floating High on Tuborg

2009-11-01T11:46:00.008Z

I'm currently working on a ship which is in a floating drydock in Denmark.

I don't ever remember seeing one of these floating drydocks on the inland waterways, presumably because they need quite a lot of water depth.

In essence, you float the ship above a larger "U" shaped compartmentalised vessel, called a floating drydock, which has already had its compartments flooded with water and partially sunk.

The floating drydock then has all the water pumped out of its ballast tanks, so it starts to become buoyant and rises.

The lifting action then raises the ship out of the water, literally, high and dry, so that it may be worked upon.

The advantage of floating drydocks is that they can be moved to where they are needed and don't need large amounts of earth to be dug out, so are advantageous if land is scarce.

The ship is largely reliant on shore power and umbilicals for fresh water and waste.

As the engine and generators are raw water cooled, it's not possible to generate all our own power, although we can run the smallest auxiliary generator by using sea water cycled through the fire hose.

As I've said before, life occurs in cycles and often has repetition and subtle links to it's past.

It doesn't seem that long ago, that we were cruising the Nene and passed the Carlsberg brewery at Northampton.

Today, Tuborg, who are part of the Carlsberg group, officially release their Julebryg or Tuborg Christmas Brew.

Its supposed to be released on the first Friday in November, but in actual fact, it was released this year on Friday 30th October.

This is known as J-day and is usually the source of much rejoicing in Denmark.

Normally, as part of the promotion, the first "pint" is usually free in most hostelries.

The beer is only available for 6 weeks each year and is a strong Pilsner (5.6%).

For the beer aficionados out there, Tuborg Julebryg is a bottom-fermented, wiener beer brewed on lager, münchener and caramel malt with English liquorice.

The beer is dark-golden with a fresh aroma of caramel, grain, liquorice and blackcurrant.

There, I'm glad I got that out of my system.

Show Me Your Leaves, Dearie !

2009-10-27T10:35:00.003Z

Just a reminder that if you find that the wash behind your boat is a different pattern on the water to usual or is making a strange noise, it could be leaves.

At this time of year, the leaves fall off the trees (so that's why the US call it "the fall" ??) and land in the canal (can I say that ?).

The leaves then start to sink and often get wrapped around the leading edges of your propeller as you're cruising, spoiling its hydrodynamics.

This causes a loss of efficiency.

Its worth just putting the gearbox into neutral every now and again whilst travelling and giving the engine a burst in astern, to blow the leaves off.

Obviously, make sure you do this on a straight stretch when no other boats are around.

Its also quite refreshing to see the leaves come to the surface with the reverse thrust, confirming your diagnosis...

The pattern of the wash is generally very telling. Not quite like tea leaves in the bottom of a teacup, but it can indicate things fouling your propeller.

Large objects like mattresses, fleeces, whole tyres, etc have a way of announcing their own arrival - usually by killing your engine as you are approaching a lock entrance with a fair amount of way on.

However, smaller objects like carrier bags, leaves, fishing line, can just affect performance and this is often where wake watching comes in.

Get used to your normal wake pattern for different speeds, so you recognise anything abnormal.

I find the wake has a habit of not flowing directly behind - it goes sideways slightly, which is usually a sign of fouled prop blades, which plays with the thrust.

Something to think about as you are chugging along.

Piracy and Death in Dubrovnik

2009-10-10T19:20:00.009+01:00

I have just returned from working in the fortified city of Dubrovnik in Croatia.

It is believed that the trading republic sprang from the remains of the roman city of Epidaurum, in the 7th century.

Although now very much a part of Croatia, the ex-Yugoslavia, Dubrovnik has an air of independence about it.

Originally known as Ragusa, it became a independent trading centre, heavily dependent on ships.

At one point, it had 4000 sailors living there and laws were passed to stop them sailing away on foreign ships.

Today, Dubrovnik is a tourist haven and a centre for visiting cruise ships.

The ships anchor off and the passengers come ashore in launches, as can be seen here, just in front of the fortress of St.John.

I first went to Southern Croatia in the mid 1990's and the famous and much photographed walls of the city were pock-marked from bullets and shrapnel from the war with Bosnia.

Now, the damage is repaired, the sun shines and the tourists come again in floods.

Dubrovnik is watched over by its patron saint, St.Vlaho, who is to Dubrovnik, what St.Mark is to Venice.

A Jadrolinija ferry at Dubrovnik port on the Lapad peninsula, seen here under attack from a pirate vessel.

Still fishing in the same way as they have for centuries.

This is the mysterious island of Lokrum, just offshore of Dubrovnik.

The locals say that if you spend the night on the island, you will be cursed and die - nice..

Looming Large

2009-09-25T15:23:00.000+01:00

Since I mentioned in passing, the other day, that some of my "large ship" work was drying up as a result of the global downturn in trade, I have had several people ask me about making wiring looms for their new boats.

For those of you that haven't come across this concept, its a spin-off from the wiring looms that are now standard in cars and production boats.

Like cars, production motor cruisers such as Princess, Sunseeker etc are not wired one wire at a time, as this would be too time consuming and therefore expensive.

The cabling for these type of boats is made to pattern and length, so that the boatbuilder can just clip one loom into place and connect-up all the loose ends.

Visually, a wiring loom resembles a fish bone, with a main spine and various offshoots coming off.

This practise has now caught on in the narrow-boating world.

Its very useful for people fitting out their own hulls or sailaways, as it saves a lot of fitting-out time, time wasted sourcing small quantities of materials and specification guesswork.

The cables can be made to order as a bespoke loom and delivered to the boat in one or more pieces, subject to complexity.

It means that the person doing the fitting out can spend less time working in a cramped hull (which is no fun in winter) or more time doing some other form of fitting out, like the plumbing or tiling the shower.

Normally, I either start off by visiting the boat to discuss the layout with the owner and make a pattern, or if the boats physically too far away, the owner can complete a diagram by adding dimensions and a few other necessary details.

I can then make the loom in my workshop at home (not on our boat - not enough room !! ).

The loom is made up of correctly dimensioned cables for the current it will need to carry and is supplied as a finished product with marked cables within the loom, a wiring diagram and a list of the conductors used and their specification.
Looms are cable tied and heat-shrink sleeve wrapped for strength.

When the loom gets to the boat, the spine has to be fitted into place (usually alone the centre of the deckhead or under the gunwhale) and the dimensioned tails then fall into place to line up with the switches and light fittings. The person doing the fitting-out then has to connect the 2-wire connections on the loose tails to the light fittings and switches and the other end of the spine is connected to the outputs of the DC fuse box or distribution panel.

Its also possible to split the lighting circuit so that a failure on one circuit (e.g. blown breaker or fuse) doesn't plunge the whole boat into darkness or even one end of the boat. The loom allows lights to be interleaved, so that every second light would stay on, etc.

I can also make up heavy duty battery cables (up to 70mm2), which can be supplied to length, for new inverters, battery chargers, etc.

Clean The Screen and Fill Her Up, Please

2009-09-24T07:54:00.002+01:00

We all need a little bit of care and attention, sometimes.

Even ships.

After our race around the Med, we are back in the U.K

As jobs go, it's not been bad. Got the work done, got some sun and managed to see a little of the places we berthed in.

This Wightlink ferry is getting a wash and brush-up.

Look at how shallow her draft is !!!

If your only experience of taking on diesel has been at the filling station or, if on a boat, at the marina or from a trading narrowboat, check this out.

The orange/red hulled ship is a bunker barge.

She exists purely to refuel other ships.

She currently has a flexible hose of about 10" diameter pumping fuel oils into our bunker tanks, to replenish what we burnt dashing around the Med.

Fuel on ships is measured in tonnes, not litres and ships can typically burn 20-60 tonnes a day. Bring back sailing ships I say.

At the same time, we have a lot of windows that are now caked with salt from the spray.

So, the windowcleaner is lowered in a permanent cage and hoses them all down - what a cleaning round, eh ?

This is the final chapter of this particular book.

So to part, a shot of a shuffleboard deck, as we shuffle off with our tools and gear (and it was a shuffle too - where did all that extra stuff come from ? ).

Back home to Willawaw and a new chapter - the start of our Autumn/Winter cruise.

Catch you soon.

And I Thought Stromboli was a Circus Clown

2009-09-23T09:08:00.016+01:00

We crept through the Messina Straits under cover of darkness and cut a silent wash past a sleeping Stromboli, the island and volcano.

Welcome to a particularly volcanic part of the Meditearranean, or to be more precise, the Tyrrhenian Sea.

Stromboli last erupted last year, but tonight it appears to be dormant.

So, on to the next volcano, Vesuvius. This is a bit more sleepy, but blew its top in the last 100 years and spectacularly in 79 A.D when it killed over 10,000 people in the much televised destruction of Pompeii. I know all about this because I used to watch Frankie Howard - Titter ye not.

Anyhow, the entrance to these delights is Naples.

Italy is a stylish place.

They don't do much and there was always the famous joke about the World War 2 Italian tank - it had one forward gear and three reverse gears. However, what they do, they do with incomparable style.

They shrug, they pout, they play with their sunglasses and the men can't pass a mirror, without pausing to reflect.

It always makes me smile when I fly into Italy and the police and customs at the airport always seem to be fiddling with their little white bags on their belts or brushing a stray hair off their face whilst looking in the one-way glass.

I've often wondered what the mens toilets must be like in an Italian nightclub.

I can imagine a line of men at the washbasins, applying their make-up and working hard at that manicured look.

Even their cruise terminal is chic - I kept expecting to see Sophia Loren at any moment.

You can tell I'm not envious - after all, who wants to look like a male model without even trying - I don't - bah.

Anyway, as is my habit, I digress.

Naples or Napoli now that I'm here, is a busy little port.

How's this for a mooring ?

So, when in Rome - sorry, when in Napoli, it's off to Amalfi for ice cream and more sunglasses.

The roads are very windy and narrow on the Amalfi coast and driving is a tad hairy.

Its interesting watching trucks and coaches weave along roads probably made for donkeys.

Full marks to the Italian drivers though, they get past other vehicles with a centimetre to spare.

and if they don't, so what, more shrugs and sunglasses on heads for eyeballing contests.

It's got so bad, that the government employ these little men to contraflow the traffic.

Its very clever, they come in little rectangular grow-bags (see his on the lamp post).

You pour agua minerale on the bag and hey presto, miniature traffic marshalls.

What ? you don't believe me ?

Okay, doubting thomases, here is conclusive proof, snapped by a concealed camera.

Here is the home of the Italian leprechaun, now gainfully employed on the Amalfi coast road:

Amalfi is beautiful - what can I say.

Andiamo (lets go).

Job done, we cast off the myriad of lines that secures us to Italy.

A quick surge on the bow and stern thrusters and the ship is once more, a living, moving thing of beauty.

Next stop, home.

She glided out of Naples, past these very stylish commercial warehouses.

Just because they hold warehouse type things, why can't they look good, ciara.

Ciao baby.

Thats what I like about Italians - appearance is everything.

Cure Thyself

2009-09-22T09:48:00.009+01:00

Istanbul was brilliant.

It's one of my favourite places as it forms a "bridge" between Europe and the Middle East.

Stomped through by many different civilisations, it now stands as a mix of many cultures.

Irrespective of your thoughts about organised religions, you can't help but marvel at the effort that man makes in building great buildings in honour to his creator.

No visit to Istanbul would be complete without a visit to the Blue Mosque (one of only two mosques that, at the time of building, had as many minarets as the mosque in Mecca - six).

This is Hagia Sophia, built as a church, converted to a mosque and now a museum.

Nor would a visit be complete without a walk through the alleged 1200 shops of the Grand Bazaar with a little friendly haggling for some unique Turkish craftwork.

On the way down the Turkish coast, we anchored off a little fishing village for a day and took the launch ashore. We managed to get to Pergamon, which although now in Turkey, used to be a Greek city (moving borders you see).

Below is a photograph of the Asclepieion or healing temple. It was the forerunner of modern hospitals dating back over 2000 years.

However, unlike modern hospitals, they did not let you in, if you looked terminal.

Dying patients made their success statistics look a bit sick !! -

mmm well, maybe not that different then ?

If you were unfortunate enough to die in their care, they apparently had a habit of disposing of the body when nobody was looking.

"Nurse, nurse, where is Mr.Papadopoulos - he looked very sick when I did my rounds yesterday ?"

"He checked out, Doctor - thought he had left his back door unlocked or something"

"Oh well, another success for the medical staff - at least he walked out himself"

I wonder if the medical students could see the operation from up there ?

"Speak up, did you say gut or cut ?"

In the words of the infamous Monty Python, "and now for something completely different".

From Ancient Greece to Art Deco.

This is the ships atrium - a Latin word, not a Greek one.

Those Hard To Reach Places

2009-09-20T11:06:00.010+01:00

Well done to the engineers. We reached Istanbul on schedule.

Like narrowboats, ships need touching-up every now again.

Unlike narrowboats, you can't just kneel down on the marina pontoon and slap some more blacking on.

Istanbul is a lovely city, but they don't have proper mooring fenders.

Most ports have large pneumatic fenders as shown below. I've often fantasised about fitting some ballast on the bottom of one for stability and making a real boat out of one (Little cabin on the top ?).

Well they're big enough (look at the man on the quayside for scale) and you couldn't damage one by hitting things with it, could you ??

Istanbul only has tractor tyres and these left lots of black rubber rings on our lovely white paintwork.

With this is mind, we had to put the painting crew down in the next port.

The ship is largely self-sufficient and maintenance is no exception.

An aluminium raft with an electric outboard is kept onboard for those little waterline tasks, like slapping white paint over dirty fender marks.

When its all done, there's nothing else for it, but to fold the raft up and get it back on board.

I'm More Important Than You

2009-09-12T23:09:00.005+01:00

Well the fuel pump is up the shoot !!

It takes the engineers 6 hours to change and while it's being changed, we can only run on the remaining engines.

There is always rivalry between the three main departments on a cruise ship.

The Deck department think they are the most important because they steer the ship from port to port and stop it hitting icebergs.

The Technical department believe they are the most important because they keep everything working.

Without them, the ship wouldn't be going anywhere.

The hotel department know they are the most important.

Without them, the ship wouldn't make any money.

Without them, the company wouldn't be able to pay the poncy navigators in their whites and Ray-bans.

It wouldn't be able to pay the pale-skinned troglodytes who spend their time in that hot, noisy cavern of an engine room.

Anyway, the Ray-bans are chewing their pencils nervously, the engineers are up their elbows in heavy fuel oil and the hotel staff just smile and amuse the passengers by wiggling to the B52's around the pool.

That didn't work, so they got the passengers to whack the hell out of each other over the swimming pool. Everybody was amused by the violence and the blood didn't show because it was diluted by the water in the pool.

If we are not in port by 0700 tomorrow, the proverbial will hit the fan and the Company will not be pleased.

The Schedule

2009-09-08T12:40:00.005+01:00

Still at sea on the White Whale.

Today, the fuel pump packed in.

No biggy - got a spare !!

The engineers will change it.

Most of the people that go on a cruise have no conception of the medium.

They think of a ship as a moving hotel. A top class hotel where the scenery moves overnight.

They have no particular love or even an interest for the sea.

Loosely termed a cruise, it is in fact, more of a high speed dash.

The ship's top sustainable speed is 24 knots. We need to maintain an average of 22 knots betwee ports to maintain the schedule.

Severe weather, having to change course to avoid other ships and God forbid, having to heave to or divert to rescue poor souls in distress, all take their toll on the schedule.

As one Greek captain said on our little sojourn through the Corinth Canal, "No Man at Sea and no entering the boats without the Captains say-so".

I think he meant no man overboard and if we have to take to the lifeboats, wait for his approval as he wants to go first.

Currying Favour

2009-09-06T10:24:00.006+01:00

One of the beauties of having a Goanese crew on a ship, is the fact that they make excellent curries.

Goa is an ex Portuguese colony off the coast of India and their largely Christian population have been the source of crew for some companies for many years.

Being the owner of one of the select breeds of curry-loving cat, I'm rather partial to the odd "Ruby" (sorry - Cockney rhyming slang alarm - Ruby Murray = Curry).

We even have our own Tawa, which is a type of flattened griddle, used for making Chapati's.

I like to eat my curries without rice. I prefer Chapati's and choose to eat them with the fingers by wrapping the curry in the Chapati and devouring the lot - the original way; clean fingers and no utensils needed.

Everybody has their own definition of paradise. Their own version of desert island discs !!

Mine is travelling the world, whilst being able to eat a different curry every day.

I have a pact.

I have to stride up 7 decks, several times a day, so that I can sit out on one of the aft decks, eating a bowl of curry, al fresco style.

Unlike dinner, I eat alone and in silence.

Tomorrow, we're due to be off Sicily, but more importantly, it's Lamb Bhuna day.

The thing about modern ships is their speed. Even without any wind, a passenger ship will make its own by the sheer exertion of forward movement.

So, a 25 mph wind across the deck is no bad thing.

1800 people on Lamb Bhuna could be more noticeable than being downwind of a cattle ship.

A Canal with a Difference

2009-09-01T21:19:00.011+01:00

We finally arrived at Piraeus in Greece.

Piraeus is the seaport for the Greek capital city of Athens, which is just up the road.

Being the archetypal canal anorak that I am, I did what any self respecting waterways freak would do and set off for the Corinth Canal, about an hours drive away from the docks.

The Isthmus of Corinth is a narrow piece of land which separates the Peloponnese of Greece, a peninsula in the extreme South of the country, from the rest of Greece.

As long ago as 602BC, the Greeks considered cutting a canal to avoid the long and often dangerous sail around the Peloponnese.

Work was started as early as 307BC and was then stopped and started through the ages.

In 66AD, the Roman emperor Nero actually managed to get his engineers to cut a 3.3Km long 40m wide ditch, but work was halted again.

The ancients often hauled their boats and cargoes over the Isthmus, to avoid sailing round - slave labour was plentiful in those days.

It wasn't until after the Suez Canal was opened in the 19th century, that work began in earnest at Corinth.

In the end, the Corinth Canal was dug out between 1881 and 1893, by a Hungarian contractor.

The final version is 4 miles long, straight and lockless.

It has a depth of 8m and a width of 24.6m.

There are various overhead high level road bridges connecting what is now an island, to the rest of Greece and Europe.

At each end of the canal, there are two low level road bridges.

These bridges are quite unusual in that, when boats wish to enter the canal, the spans sink beneath the waters and let the boats pass over them.

Apparently, when they surface again to allow waiting traffic to cross, fish are often found on the emerging road surface, giving the bridge controllers their lunch.

Quoits Anyone ?

2009-08-27T17:34:00.007+01:00

The centre of any passenger ship society has to be the dinner table.

Over the years, the starched formality of crisp white "bum-freezered" officer uniforms has softened to a formal informality.

It has now been downgraded from Formality Level 10 to a 6.

If this was an American ship, I'm sure that it would be portrayed in colours as security levels are in the U.S.A

It could be downgraded from a red to a more subtle, orange.

The thing with "passy" ships is that you are marooned on a table with strangers for the entire voyage.

It really is a test of social survival.

Considering that dinner lasts for anything up to 2 hours, as courses come and go, thats a big chunk of anyones life.

On the first night out from the U.K, you get the initial surprise.

You either arrive at your allocated table in the dining room to find a solitary, empty chair, surrounded by a circle of expectant faces or, if you get in first, you choose your seat and have the faces arrive around you.

As I was eating with the passengers, my table was a complete surprise. The chair next to me, was removed by the waiter.

A middle aged lady and her husband arrived. She was wheelchair bound and unable to speak or cut her own food up.

They were accompanied by another couple from a different part of the U.K, who all meet up once a year to cruise together. They originally met on another ship and now maintain the tradition.

The lady in a wheelchair has a machine to help her communicate. She types in what she wants to say and the machine speaks the sentence for her. Unfortunately, nobody can hear her over the din of inane smalltalk, the clattering of knives and forks and the sound of dentures chomping.

"Looks can be deceiving".

I'm ashamed to say that I'm fallible and often forget to obey that well-worn idiom.

Another one is "to err is human".

As I write this, we have been at sea for 5 days and I've discovered a very special lady and her devoted husband.

Stricken by a severe stroke, a perfectly able and intelligent woman is now constrained by her own body of short circuits.

I've heard it said that people only see the wheelchair and not the person in it. How very true.

Their seemingly normal looking companions have proven to be initially pleasant, but internally flawed. Increasingly so, as the voyage deepens.

Some ten hours of dinner talk later, the seething bed of psychological baggage is starting to rise from the depths of the beautiful couple. Obsessions about looks, money, status, all rise to the top.

The wit and bravery of the lady without a voice and her down to earth and hard working husband totally eclipse the beauties, like shining beacons on a sea of white linen.

Her humour which is shown on her LCD display for my eyes only, is rapier-like and keeps me calm and composed, in the social battlefield of lunge and riposte.

Ah well, its early days.

Bangers in Chlorine Sauce

2009-08-24T11:40:00.009+01:00

At sea again !

The photograph below shows the Jubilee Sailing Trust ship Tenacious at anchor off the Isle of Wight. She flys the signal flags RY which requests other vessels to minimise their wake.

Not surprising considering that the ship is equipped to carry a number of wheelchair users.

I'm on another passenger ship, bound for Turkey.

Only this time, they made the serious mistake of letting me loose on 1800 fare-paying Brits.

That's like letting a fox loose in a chicken coop. Only chaos can ensue.

As we steam eastwards, 24 miles off the Algerian coast, the Brits play as only the Brits can.

It's still school holidays, so the normal geriatric complement of passengers and walking wounded is generously sprinkled with younger people and families.

Midlands and Black Country accents seem to be the most prevalent.

I don't know if that's because they are numerically superior or just the most noticeable.

Looking down on the outdoor pool, out on the sun deck, the water is sloshing from end to end as the ships pitches into the easterly force 5.

Any stationary swimmer is moved two feet one way and then, two feet the other, just by the surface effect on the mass of water.

I've always wondered; are swimmers still swimmers when they stand stationary in the pool ?

Isn't floater a more accurate description ?

Probably, this is where the verb "to bathe" comes from.

Notices request that people shower before entering the pool.

In countries like Germany and Scandinavia, this is a way of life.

In the UK, Brits take no notice and just get in, after sweating it out in the noonday sun and liberally anointing themselves in factor 30.

A coconut oil slick adorns the surface of the pool.

The passengers stand, frying and sizzling, like bangers in a 30ft chlorine-filled frying pan, as the Mediterranean sun barbecues them golden brown.

Their ship-induced sloshing movement reminds me of the movement of the empty coke can, assorted bladderwrack seaweed and ripped Tesco's carrier bag that you always seem to see bobbing around the corner of any tidal harbour, the length and breadth of the U.K.

Blogs - A Plague of Frogs

2009-08-05T12:51:00.003+01:00

Blogs have been very topical recently, with quite a few boaters starting them.

I don't know whether its something to do with the disappointing weather or whether its the latest internet phenomenon, as Facebook and Twitter have been.

Some people do it as a form of therapy, some do it to be entertaining and lets be honest, some do it to make money from the Google adverts, which then offsets their boating costs.

I have always made a point of openly listing other boaters blogs on my blogroll, over there to the bottom left of this, but I refuse to promote those that have the dreaded Google ads.

I was approached by one well known blogger, asking why I had neglected to include theirs, when there were so many others included. I had to respectfully point out and explain my dislike of Google ads, which was taken well, as it happens.

Have you ever noticed how the G.adverts adapt to the subject being discussed ??

If you write about solar power, adverts will appear, advertising solar panels, etc - spooky.

I've just found a new blog in the ether, in the shape of NB Gemma Joy.

For some reason, John, her owner, has elected to do it in the form of a website.

The only problem with this is that the automated feeds and readers which can be used to alert you to a new post on the blog, don't recognise the format.

In many respects, thats why its better to use Google Blogspot or Wordpress.

I've added Gemma Joy to my blogroll, but it just sits lifeless and unloved at the bottom, together with Wiccan Warrior.

Food for thought if you are considering starting one !!!

Silly Waiter

2009-08-02T09:36:00.011+01:00

We were invited to a wedding at Down Hall in West Essex.

I'm sure the name itself means nothing to you, but if I say it's the place where the terminally ill Jade Goody got married a few months ago, you may recall hearing about it before.

Whatever your views on Jade Goody and I have my own, Down Hall is a beautiful country house set in a 10 acre estate near Hatfield Heath.

Many people belittle Essex and it is the butt of many jokes. However, Essex is a very large county, stretching from the Thames up to Felixstowe on the east coast. Many think of Essex as the stereotypical Essex boy and girl, Darren and Trace, with the estuarial accent, Ford car with furry dice and who do their shopping at Lakeside, near the Dartford tunnel.

I always remember working with a "Trace" some years ago, who when asked where she was going on holiday, replied "I'm going Cancun".

Essex has many faces. It is not just the flat, featureless, industrial landscape that you see near the Thames. The border with Hertfordshire is very hilly and North Essex has farmland, market towns, open country and local accents quite similar to the Suffolk accent.

Down Hall is a very pretty venue and although not far from Stansted Airport, is surrounded by picture postcard villages, parish cricket teams and pretty pubs and churches (the two always go hand in hand).

The wedding was a lavish affair.

Every feature and move had been planned to perfection. More like a military manoeuvre than a wedding. The knack with weddings is to make them look relaxed, carefree and flowing, whilst underneath the surface, there is a metronome dictating every move.

The marriage itself was a registry office "do" in one of the beautiful drawing rooms, which had been licensed for the ceremony.

After the civil service, guests funnelled out on to the lawn for drinks.

As we passed through the hall, there was a crash and commotion. One of the waiters had dropped a tray of drinks and was being helped, hobbling, by two of the ushers, out into the garden.

The waiter, who was a "Bobby Ball" lookalike was obviously in pain and was making a great deal of noise. When he got out on to the regal, covered porchway, the ushers released him and he went over again, down the steps.

Was he drunk on duty or just a mental patient who had escaped ?

The Master of Ceremonies (MC), resplendent in his red jacket, tried to collate people for the photographs in the grounds. The silly waiter re-appeared and started running up and down like a human sheepdog, shuffling and berating people. He picked on the pretty tattooed blonde girl, making comments about her dark roots and Essex girls, he picked on the old man with the lamb-chop whiskers and Meerschaum pipe, confusing the smell of Kentucky Gold tobacco with Kentucky Fried Chicken. The MC was clearly irritated with the shouting and interfering of this irritating little waiter. As the photographer started organising his subjects in to order - tall people at the back, children at the front ! the silly waiter suggested that it might be better if the ugly people stayed at the back, shouting the mantra of "if you can't see the camera, you won't be in the photo - might be a good thing for some of you".

The guests' faces started to relax. What started out as a rogue waiter about to ruin the brides special day, became a prank set-up, designed to amuse the guests.

The silly waiter went on to appear between each course of the meal, blackened and charred after cooking the main course, covered in cream after preparing the dessert, dragging pre-arranged targets up to carry out silly Men in Black and dance routines, much to the delight of the bridge and groom, who got their revenge on those friends who took advantage at their respective stag and hen nights.

Mark Howard was the silly waiter. In reality, a professional actor who has worked for many famous people, as well as receiving accolades from the great, late Jeremy Beadle, who employed him for his daughters wedding.

The question is, would you dare to let the Silly Waiter do his stuff at your daughters wedding ?

It certainly needs a degree of trust, but the Silly Waiter pulled it off superbly and the guests were suitably warmed-up when it came to the dancing in the evening. I've never seen so many people on a dancefloor at a wedding !!!

http://www.sillywaiter.com/index.htm

Hot Towels Sir ?

2009-07-31T23:06:00.009+01:00

There are two types of canal boating; soft boating and camping on water.

Personally speaking, my days of sleeping on camp beds and wearing fleeces indoors are far behind me.

Sometimes, I see people cruise by in sailaway narrowboats. The inside of the boat is just one corridor, with a plywood floor, no partition bulkheads and a Black and Decker Workmate for a table.

I appreciate that people need time to fit out their sailaways and often the temptation for a cruise on a sunny day is too much. However, I'm talking about that small band of hardened souls who are continuously cruising whilst barn-camping inside. You know who you are !!

Power to their elbow - I'm too old, soft and southern for such boating.

I like my creature comforts and one of my top priorities, especially in the damp of, well, every month except possibly August and September, is the hot towel.

I absolutely abhor reaching for a damp towel when I get out of the shower.

Willawaw has a large calorifier (the boaty term for a water immersion tank). This can be heated by the engine coolant, the Eberspacher diesel heater or an electric immersion heater when we are on shore mains.

Our interior boat heating is by radiator and these are heated by the Eberspacher. We also have an independent solid fuel stove, which burns coal or logs.

We have just finished our refit in drydock and the boat is looking pretty good. She was getting a bit tired and she now has a nice new paint job, new fenders, all her woodwork varnished or painted and so on.

The canals get a bit manic for us during the school holidays, so we tend to do repairs in the summer and start cruising in earnest just as the kids are going back to school. September and October are some of the best boating months, in our humble opinion.

Anyhow, I digress yet again.

Now, sorry to talk about those colder, damp, autumnal evenings in the middle of your summer holidays, but you have to think ahead on boats and it's not really that far away.

When we cruise in the darker, colder months, it can get quite chilly inside the boat during the day and we have to run our Eberspacher or solid fuel stove at the same time as the main diesel engine.

The former provides the heat and the latter is driving the boat forward. This is a bit wasteful, as it burns two lots of fuel, but it is necessary to stop the boat cooling down inside.

However, this week I was given an idea by another boater.

In essence, what he was advocating, was a modification to the pump within the Eberspacher heater.

When we are cruising, the water in our calorifier gets heated by the engine and the heat will naturally transfer from the engine coil in the calorifier through the calorifier itself into the second dedicated coil for the switched off diesel heater.

As the radiators are connected to this second coil, if we could pump the water round, with the heater still OFF, we would effectively get hot radiators from the conducted engine heat, even though there is no direct connection between the two circuits.

This means there would be no need to use extra fuel for heating when cruising in the cold weather.

Whilst I applaud the notion, I'm not keen on modifying the internal pump circuitry in my Eber, BUT it would be easy to fit a second 12V pump into the pipe circuit !!

With this is mind, I plan to fit a new pump in parallel to the Eberspacher, together with some one-way check valves in the HEP plastic piping, so that the pumping pressure of the Eber when thats running can't short circuit through the stationary new pump and miss the radiators out completely.

I have ordered the HEP parts and a Jabsco 59520-0000 ecocirc pump. The pump is designed for hot water use and has a brushless motor with a magnetic drive, so it should run forever and as it has no seals, it shouldn't leak this side of doomsday.

I have also found a 12V supply on my alternator controller which will automatically run the pump only when the engine is running.

This is necessary because if you have the pump manually switched and you forget to turn it off when you stop cruising for the day, all the heat from the radiators will flow back in the reverse direction and keep the engine warm when it gets switched off, which is counter-productive.

Anyway, bottom line is that it gives us warm rads whilst winter cruising, without burning extra diesel and just as importantly, it means that I can have just the towel rail on whilst summer cruising.

So, thanks to a bright idea from a fellow boater, I can now pat myself on the back for being eco-friendly and use a fluffy, hot towel to do it !!

Sleeping With Strangers

2009-07-25T00:15:00.002+01:00

It occurs to me that I waste quite a lot of my life sleeping with strangers.

I have always had the ability to sleep anywhere.

The mere motion of a plane, train or automobile, sends me instantly into a deep slumber.

However, my tendency to fly with budget airlines often tends to leave me sitting in a very uncomfortable, upright position.

My Turkish flight had me sitting in the emergency escape aisle, which is always good for legroom, but the seat didn't recline at ALL.

As soon as the plane starts speeding down the runway, I'm off into the land of nod.

V1, V2, Rotate - the nose lifts off the tarmac and the aluminium monster is suddenly airborne at 200 mph and climbing.

I'm pushing zzzzzz's, but its no problem at all, because the "nose-up" attitude of the plane means that my head is forced back into the seat, sticking me to it as if by magnetism.

However, when the plane levels out, the problems start.

The cranial magnetism disappears and my head falls forwards, causing me to wake myself up with a jerk.

I subconcsiously bring my head back to vertical and doze off again.

Some inmeasurable time later, my head goes forward again and I jerk awake, once more.

"Nodding dog" syndrome is no laughing matter and steps should really be taken to prevent this dangerous condition on all airlines.

Normally, mostly strangers get to sleep with me, so I never find out what they think, as they observe the secrecy of the cabin, but on the few occasions when I travel with company, they tell me that its very amusing to watch me try to nod my head off.

The sheer oppulent luxury of aircraft seating is so appealing, the owner of this Cork hotel decided to fill his restaurant with it.

Minutes before the photo was taken, the child in the picture was enjoying eating from the lowered seat tray that you can see on the middle seat back.

I wanted him to have the full airline experience, readying him for all those Easy-nair flights that he will take in the future, so I sat in the middle seat and reclined it fully and quickly while he was eating, causing him to ingest his bread roll.

He can now tell his parents that he has been through the induction course to be a seasoned traveller.

Its very hard to be a stranger in Ireland.

Irish jokes are legendary and the Irish are always portrayed as being thick.

In my experience, they are quite the opposite.

I have always found them to be very good negotiators.

They have a very lateral train of logic and this is often interpreted as being slow on the uptake.

In my opinion, they just approach a situation from a different direction and this flair for the lateral enables them to think up all kinds of variables when haggling over prices and terms.

This means that I have to think very carefully when trying to initiate a negotiation. The approach is very different from the norm.

For example, when we in the UK ask for directions, we typically stop the car, wind down the window and shout "excuse me, can you tell me the way to XYZ".

This doesn't work well in Ireland.

They always start such proceedings with verbal foreplay.

For example, "ah thats a fine display of roses you have there. I'm just on my way to visit my aunt/cousin/favourite donkey. Have you lived here long ?".

It's also essential to leave your car in the middle of the road, unbuckle your seatbelt, get out and walk across to the person concerned.

The conversation then rambles on until you can get it round to "I was wondering if you can give me some directions".

Of course, even this approach isn't guaranteed.

I once stopped and asked somebody in Ireland if they were from around here (another rather direct English way of asking for directions).

"No", they said "I don't live around here".

"Oh", I said, disappointed. "So where are you from ?" (another fallback attempt at opening conversation).

"Over there", they said, pointing to a group of buildings about half a mile away.

I once stayed in a lovely place called the Candlelight Inn at Dunmore East, near Waterford, with a group of ships captains.

On the morning of my departure, I was having a rather fine Irish breakfast with the Captains, when the owner of the hotel suggested that I let the hotel courtesy bus take me to Waterford Airport for my morning flight home.

I thanked him for his hospitality and finished my breakfast.

I collected my bag from the room, checked out and went outside to locate the courtesy bus.

There was no bus, only an ancient Morris Traveller with a little old lady wearing a chauffeurs hat, sat in the driving seat.

"Excuse me", I said. "Can you tell where the courtesy bus stops ?"

"Ah, ye'll be wanting me" she said "are ye for the airport ?"

Surprised, I nodded, but accepted - this was Ireland after all and nothing should be allowed to faze you.

I said my goodbyes to all at the hotel, jumped in the back seat of the Morris and we were off.

Waterford Airport is 4.5 miles from Dunmore East, as the crow flies.

About an hour later, we were back at the hotel.

"Forget something, did ye ?" said the proprietor to me.

"No", I replied "your courtesy bus couldn't find the airport and I've missed my flight".

She was obviously not from round there.

Cats and Seagulls

2009-07-24T00:20:00.000+01:00

The canals are far away.

A rather surreal evening sitting on the foreshore, having dinner in Turkey.

The cats fight the seagulls for scraps of fish from the table and the shipyards are in the distance.

The Little Red Button (Continued)

2009-07-23T17:06:00.022+01:00

Yesterday, I told you about my escapade with the deranged Stella Artois fisherman from hell.

Today, I want to continue on the theme of anger management.

When people like my fishing friend in Broxbourne want to do bad things to our heads with blunt instruments, we all momentarily wish ill on them.

It's a pretty human response.

The ill is normally scaled in accordance with the bad things being done.

A rude boater is often wished an early bath.

Somebody cutting you loose from your mooring in the middle of a night is wished a transmission failure at 2am on the M1 - a complete rear axle lock up at 70 mph if you're moored near a weir.

However, most of us get over it when the emotion leaves the incident.

However, somebody once said to me, imagine that somebody does something bad to you.

You might not want to kill them, just maim them a little -maybe not even hurt them at all.

But, imagine that you have a little red button with a cover over it.

You can lift that lid, press that button and that person will disappear for ever - they will cease to exist.

Nobody else will know what you have done.

Their friends and families will wonder where they have gone, but never know the truth.

Only you will know the truth and you have to live with that for the rest of your life.

WILL YOU PRESS THE BUTTON ?

This week, I made a brave decision.

I decided to fly to Turkey on a Turkish airline that I'd never heard of.

With the boat still in dock and me living at our house in Essex, I decided that I wanted to fly from London Stansted.

My normal easyJet big orange bird doesn't fly from there, so I booked with an airline called Pegasus.
I knew it was going to be different when I checked in.

As I was standing in the check-in queue, I noticed a very British looking, dapper, middle aged gentleman with an "I'm important" Airport Staff ID badge looking at people's hand luggage.

He saw one of my fellow passengers with a laptop bag and as soon as he could get eye contact with him, said "is that a laptop" ?

The passenger nodded. If it's got lots of cables in it, the security won't like it - they're having lots of problems with cables at the moment.

Rightly or wrongly, I immediately labelled him a jumped up jobs-worth.

My bag is full of laptop and LOTS of cables. The security love to pull them all out over the examination table and then leave me to put them all back in, to teach me a lesson.

I resolved to ignore the jobs-worth and didn't make eye contact - it worked.

Security paid me no more attention than usual.

All went normally until it was time to board at the gate.

I noticed my dapper friend. He was receiving a customer complaint from a British farepayer.

I couldn't catch every word, despite leaning in their direction, but got the impression it was something to do with the size and weight of hand luggage that Turkish passengers were being allowed to take on.

There is a very strict and minimalistic allowance in force - clearly flouted by the Turkish.

The British passengers, including me, formed an orderly line, waiting to board.

The Turkish passengers, who have no word in their vocabulary for queue, charged the front desk in a cheese wedge of people - it was everybody for himself.

Luckily, seats were pre-assigned (unlike Ryan Easy), so I didn't care.

Then it happened.

That Twilight Zone moment.

I was already uneasy about flying on an unknown airline - a Turkish owned and operated airline that I had no background or prior knowledge of.

Then, I saw what was written on the side of the aircraft.

DEDEMAN

It had to be an omen.

We were all going to die.

Luckily, my panic was quickly controlled by the sight of my trusty Jobs-worth, carrying a very stiff upper lip and adorned by the mantle of a tweed jacket.

He was waiting at the foot of the airstairs.

Up to that point, I had seriously considered pressing the red button on him.

Obviously having his dander dandered by the complaining passenger, he had sought his own personal crusade to stop the hand luggage offenders.

Single handed, he pulled peoples luggage out of their hand, with the battle cry "its too heavy - its going in the hold".

Unfortunately, all the inflicted were Turkish. The British play cricket - all their hand held bags were well within the rules.

The Turks were beside themselves with anger. He was stopping them getting on the aeroplane - delaying them from their rendezvous with Istanbul.

Undeterred, tweed gent persevered. The Turkish aircaft crew rolled their eyes as the bags were removed in the general direction of the Boeing's underbelly.

Now the Turks are a great spectator nation.

If there is a car crash between two cars in Turkey, not only do the drivers get out and argue in the street, the passers-by do as well.

Any public argument is considered to be a spectator or participation sport.

Its not unknown for complete strangers to pass opinions on the cause of car accidents that have nothing at all to do with them.

An accident between two drivers can quickly become an argument between 7 people.

The Turkish people in front of me, stopped moving up the airstairs.

They stopped, looked back, savouring the conflict.

Come on, I said, get on board, we've got places to go.

They sulked and wearily plodded up the stairs, miffed that they were missing the show.

I felt so proud to be British. Standards haven't slipped after all.

I was going to banish him into nothingness with my little red button, but in the end, I quite liked him.